Chicken Fun

Pets, livestock, whatever, they're good to have around

Welcome to the Down the Lane Chicken Keeping Pages

Some funny sides of Chickens

Some would say they have a sense of humour - no, awkward!

There are many lessons to be learnt when keeping your chickens and the main one I think is - they either have a sense of humour or they're just bone inconsiderate ! Here are a few things to watch out for..........

Although fed with an ample staple diet of Corn and Pellets, they are very partial to human toe nails. I therefore recommend you should forget fashion sense and wear socks when entering the Pen.

Buttons to chickens look like large Layers Pellets. Do not bend over (see right picture) if you have a back pocket button.

Wherever you want to go in the Pen, chickens will try and speculate your route and go ahead. This can cause you much harm (to self, not the chicken) by falling over them. It is one reason that all my chickens are named 'Getoutthebloominway'.

No matter how warm and cosy you have made their nest box. No matter how many hours it took you to build it, there is about a one in ten chance of them actually using it. Most prefer lawnmower grass boxes, coal sheds and nice little places behind 4' tall stinging nettles.


When introducing new chickens, do so at night. When they get up at dawn, they can't remember how many of them there were the night before and just get on with it.

Chickens have a great appreciation for humans wishing to exercise. This becomes apparent if you want to pick one up. In a pen 40' x 40', they will give you at least a 800 meter workout.

One of their favourite games is 'Dare'. This is either running accross the direction of your strimmer or getting the worm out the ground before the spade goes in again.

Never live next door to a Pub. Chickens are attracted to alcohol. Not drinking it, but they know that after a few pints, the people in there are a soft touch for anything that's going (They'll gladly put up with the Paxo jokes for the chance of a ham sandwich or chips)


They will not drink their water from the supplied Container when it's dirty. However, chuck the old water on the muddy ground, and guess where they will take their next drink from !

Chickens are very partial to human toe nails. It is not recommended to wear Sandals in the Pen.

Finally, you are strongly advised not to have a garden picnic within 5 miles of your home. They see their invitation as said.


See what hapened to my Grandmother's Chicken c.1904. Go to The Poorly Hen!


There's always one Joker! hens
Always ensured of a captured audience hens
A thin yellow worm!
'More room on top'

Chicken Keeping
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General Day to Day
Hazards & Warnings
Supplies & Misc. Ex-Battery Hens


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