Brother's just had a heart attack

[Julia]

I phoned up my brother yesterday and he answered by saying he was in hospital after having a heart attack. It was a bit of a shock as he's only 51 although he is very overweight and does zero excercise.

I'm dreading my mum being told as she's not in the best of mental health and has a bit of dementia so can't keep things in perspective.

My brother is in denial though as he is already saying that he thinks the hospital have made a mistake and it was the pill they gave him to go under his tongue that caused it dispite having pain in his chest for three days and going to hospital because he felt so ill.

[Mad Chick]

Oh Julia. What a shock
Your brother is in the best place and I'm sure over time, he will realize that. It must be totally natural to be in denial over something like that, I suppose it's the brain's way of coping.
I hope he'll be on the mend soon

Lucy x

[p.penn]

Oh Julia, how awful for you. Don't really know what to suggest - can only send my best wishes to you and your family.

[WelshGirl]

Julia - I am sorry to hear this. Lets hope it prompts him to deal with the weight and zero exercise issue.
If he is in denial maybe it would be worth you having a word with the hospital and letting them know what he thinks - then they can really send the message home that he HAS had a heart attack. Clearly acknowledging the heart attack is the first thing he needs to do before any change will take place.
As for telling you mother - you will need to play it by ear. If she has dementia - could you ask a dementia nurse (or her / your GP) about the best way of telling her?
Stay strong and take care
Bethan xxx

[wendy]

Oh dear what a shock. 51 is young. Hopefully he will eventually realise it is his lifestyle that has caused the problem and address it.
{{{Big Hugs}}}
Wendy

[Lilo-Lil]

What a shock for you all. Hopefully he will make a full recovery and it will make him sit up and think, so to speak.

My friend`s hubby went into hosp for a routine scan on his heart last year, as he was a bit breathless. 2 hours later they called her to say could she bring his stuff as they were keeping him in for more tests. It turned out he needed a quadruple heart bypass asap! He is fine now and back at work. It has made him much more health-aware, and he goes to the gym and watches what he eats. He`s doing a 5k run for charity soon, which the hosp say he is fine to do!

My dad died aged 49 from heart probs, having been told he just had indigestion by the GP, and to take things easy as he was prob a bit stressed at work. If he had known, he would have chosen to resign on the spot, and downshift to a more simple life as he had planned to do this aged 50 anyway.This was 20 years ago, and thankfully people are much more aware of the minor signs now.

Many of his friends re-assessed their lives after he died, downsizing and changing their lifestyles. I know this has benefitted many of those who cared about him.

[Julia]

Thanks for all your sugestions and support. He's had an angiogram now and according to him they've told him everything is fine and he's already making scoffing noises at the idea of diet and exercise!!!!

They are keeping him in and hopefully will drum some sense into him. His wife is inclined to believe anything he says.

[taff]

I'm sorry to hear about your brother..I also have a sister in denial..

[Orfy]

I'm sorry to hear the news.

I was shock when a friend younger than me. (I'm 40) had a heart attack and needed surgery.

Sometimes is can be genetic!

[Meanqueen]

It's terrible when people you care about won't listen to your concerns, and carry on oblivious to the dangers of an unhealthy lifestyle. My friend is heading for big problems, I suspect, due to her eating enormous quantities of junk food, and she buys expensive junk as well, so a double whammy there. Her emotional state is fragile and I feel helpless.

Ilona

[Babycakes]

A lot of people freak out when they hear the words "heart attack" and think the worst - and therefore refuse to accept it (do you remeber how things weren't true if you didn't say them out loud when you were a child...?)
My other half had one when he was 36. It was a huge shock to everyone, not just him. Of course we all immediately thought he was going to die. But he got good medical care, had a stent fitted within 2 hours of being admitted to hospital and was home with me 5 days later.
2 weeks later he started cardiac rehab classes at the hospital. That was when most of the important stuff started to sink in - he needed to change his diet, take more excercise, change his drinking habits. We both had to quit smoking. See if your brother can go to a class like this. It really was very good. Everyone was encouraged to bring their partner or someone close to them so they weren't trying to take everything in at once, and I have to say it helped all of us partners to know what was going on too.
It is NOT the end of the world, it really isn't. Owen lives a normal, happy, healthy life (well, healthier than it was before the heart attack!!) We have had Grace since, gone on holidays, all the normal things families do.

[kate egg]

What a shock for you all Julia, but it does sound like he is not really going to help himself, and this may have been a wake-up call that he is not going to listen to I hope that your mum doesn't take it too badly