Terrible joke thread

[Panteg Produce]

How do you get four elephants in a Mini?









2 in the front: 2 in the back.

[Panteg Produce]

How do you get four rhino's in a mini?








You can't,it's full,there's already 4 elephants in it

[Panteg Produce]

What turns from green to red at the flick of a switch?

A frog in a blender.

[redoak]

Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery.
Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

[Panteg Produce]

Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery.
Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

[redoak]

As you get older three things happen.
The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...

-- Sir Norman Wisdom

[saint-spoon]

My kids keep on taking the Mickey out of my alzheimers. Wait till the cheeky little whatnots wake up on christmas morning to find no eggs under the bonfire!

[AL37]

[saint-spoon]

The wife gave me £50 and told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy. U should've seen her face when I came home paralytic

[Panteg Produce]

[Steve the Gas]

Heard it but still

[Panteg Produce]

A drunk staggers down the main street of a small town and up the church steps. He manages to open the church door, and falls into the silent building. On his hands and knees he weeps as he struggles to pull himself to his feet, half crawling and half walking towards the front of the church. He crashes from pew to pew softly crying, "Oh God help me, God help me," until he finally makes it into the confessional box.

Having observed the man's sorry progress the priest sits silently in the booth, patiently waiting to hear the drunk's tale. He waits for several minutes, hearing the drunk man moan and groan, until finally there is a lengthy silence from the drunk's side of the confessional.

At last the priest speaks, "May I help you, my son?" he asks.

"I don't know, Father," the drunk replies. "It depends on whether or not you have any paper on your side."

[saint-spoon]

[saint-spoon]

Hi just to let you know that I'm back from the hospital. They think I might have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. But at the moment it's hard to say.

[Mo]

I certainly can't say it.





You had me worried for a moment there, till I remembered what thread I'd opened.