Terrible joke thread

Jokes, word games, fun thread. NO DIRTY JOKES !
Steve the Gas

Re: Terrible joke thread

Post by Steve the Gas »

)app(
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LittleBrownFrog
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Re: Terrible joke thread

Post by LittleBrownFrog »

{rofwl}
"Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder..." Thoreau.
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paddy graham
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Re: Terrible joke thread

Post by paddy graham »

Two mates were talking "you were really drunk last night"said the one"was not" said the other,"you were so,you was shouting at a pineapple Come out SpongeBob,I know you are in there"
When Irish eyes are smiling,they are usually up to mischief.
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redoak
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Re: Terrible joke thread

Post by redoak »

Never forget that your wife is romantic. She still enjoys evenings out, wine, flowers and chocolate.

Let her know that you too remember these things, by speaking of them occasionally.

)grin2(
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Panteg Produce
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Re: Terrible joke thread

Post by Panteg Produce »

Jesus and satan are both computer programmers. Satan keeps taunting Jesus, saying that he is the better programmer. When Jesus does not rise to the bait, satan decides to challenge Jesus to a competition, with God as the judge.

After several hours of furious typing, there is a huge power surge, shutting both computers down. After some time, the computers are back up and running, and God announces that the competition is over.

Satan is the first to be called to show his work, but unfortunately has nothing to show due to the power cut.

When Jesus is called, he shows God pages and pages of his work, perfectly restored.

Satan is gobsmacked. "How is this possible?" he stammers.

God replies, quite simply, "Jesus saves."

)run(
Live a simple life and be happy , Rich.
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Mo
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Re: Terrible joke thread

Post by Mo »

Oh dear.

There is a blasphemy law you know!





I laughed. All the more because I'm an ex evangelical Christian. But I shall be singing ear-worm choruses all morning
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HappyBob
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Re: Terrible joke thread

Post by HappyBob »

The other day I met a Dutch woman who was wearing a pair of inflatable shoes, she was really nice, and we swapped phone numbers. A few days later I thought i,d give her a ring and she if she fancied going out on a date with me. I was very sad when someone informed me she,d popped her clogs.. )sh I,ll get me coat...
Dont ever grow up, its a trap
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Panteg Produce
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Re: Terrible joke thread

Post by Panteg Produce »

From a cereal packet.

What's the commonest owl in the UK?






























a Teat Owl


(already wearing his coat)
Live a simple life and be happy , Rich.
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Panteg Produce
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Re: Terrible joke thread

Post by Panteg Produce »

Bloody great queue at the cash machine just now. Harry Rednap's dog's forgotten the PIN number.

)run( )run( )run(
Live a simple life and be happy , Rich.
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paddy graham
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Re: Terrible joke thread

Post by paddy graham »

Panteg Produce wrote:From a cereal packet.

What's the commonest owl in the UK?


{rofwl} {rofwl} one of your better ones {rofwl}





























a Teat Owl


(already wearing his coat)
When Irish eyes are smiling,they are usually up to mischief.
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redoak
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Re: Terrible joke thread

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)grin2( {rofwl}
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redoak
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Re: Terrible joke thread

Post by redoak »

You can always tell when the relationship is over. Little things start grating on your nerves.
"Would you stop that please, that breathing in and out. It's so repetitious"
Maggie1

Re: Terrible joke thread

Post by Maggie1 »

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters
a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention
but the drunk continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's
no paper on this side either!"
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LittleBrownFrog
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Re: Terrible joke thread

Post by LittleBrownFrog »

{rofwl}
"Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder..." Thoreau.
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paddy graham
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Re: Terrible joke thread

Post by paddy graham »

Maggie1 wrote:A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters
a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention
but the drunk continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's
no paper on this side either!"



{rofwl} )t'
When Irish eyes are smiling,they are usually up to mischief.
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