I used to love that time of year, but now I just feel a bit cynical about the whole thing. It seems it is all about how much you spend and how many gifts you give / get. I tried suggesting a £5 limit on adults and £10 on kids a couple of years back - it went down like a lead balloon.
And that's the problem, my brother and his family always go OTT and you feel mean if you are not so giving in return.
Anyone help me put the meaning back into it?
Down The Lane Forum
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Anyone have an tips for a more thrifty Christmas
Buy ethical gifts?? Then pointedly say "I thought it would be better to help those who really need it at Christmas rather than just buying tat that ends up in the bin on Boxing Day"
I did it for fathers day - got Grace's grandad 200 meals for children in Africa. Was his favourite present - he'd never had anything like that before - and he still has the card up, long after the rest have gone, the slippers fell apart and the other presents tactfully disappeared intot he charity shop. Just a thought, it could help you make a point about the real meaning of christmas.... I'm not sure about that (unless you know the recipient will think it's a good idea). It's like forcing someone else to give to charity. Of course you could wave the catalogue around and say "I want something out of here" then the charity will benefit. And maybe they'll say "do the same for me"
But it doesn't make it more frugal. To save money you could ask for practical things, and try to give useful things in return. Or gift vouchers Or approach individuals and ask for a 'truce' rather than for the whole family. Then there is the homemade option or the 'promise voucher' (ironing, babysitting) if you are broke and the rest of the family are well off. Last Christmas I gave my mum 200 or something school dinners and David got a goat
 Mum thought it was fab but David didn't seem terribly impressed 
My brother and family live about 150 miles away and we tend to only see them at Christmas, and they really do go a bit mad, maybe making up for not seeing eahc other all year? My mum is no problem, she is in Spain so we won't be able to see her just send a small gift which is all she wants. I just know that no matter how much I try to cut back, at the last minute David will decide the boys don't have enough (!?) and ruin all my carefulness. I try to buy from charity catalogues all cards, wrap and a lot of gifts. Tried to find recyled paper gift wrap but not found any yet.... Still at least we don't go mad with the shopping, why do poeple load trolleys over-flowing, you can only eat so much and the shops are only shut one day. Other than the big (free range) turkey my shopping isn't too different from normal.
We've gone down the 'truce' route. Christmas presents had reached such epic proportions that it is the only way now. With all our brothers and sisters, we now only buy presents for the children. Even my Dad suggested that he and I don't swap presents anymore - although he still buys gifts for the grandchildren ( but hey, what are grandparents for if they can't spoil their grandchildren!)
I feel sorry for my sister-in-law who buys loads of presents for her nieces and nephews and has no children herself so I buy a small gift (usually a nice candle or some smellies) from the children.
It's so hard not to get carried away...  I also fill their stockings with essentials like knickers and pyjamas, last year they even had new wellies in there, that took up a lot of room (quantity is still more important to them than quality  )
Lucy x
I have been buying christmas presents since July!! I have refused to buy anything full price, and am doing quite well so far. I have 2 wooden puzzles, a pull-along phone, some foam numbers and letters that stick to the side of the bath and a pink ride-on car put away for Grace, Playboy jewellery, some socks and pyjamas and perfume for step daughter (all half price or reduced to clear) Youngest stepson is getting a computer game thing (reduced to clear) a 20 questions game (half price) and a Simpsons inflatable sofa and water dispenser we got in the car boot sale - never used, only £15. Oh, got Grace brand new still in pack Balamory curtains in boot sale for £2.
Him indoors and I have set ourselves a limit of £10 to spend on each other, and the challenge to see what we can get each other for free. Last year he bought me audio books fromt he car boot sale and charuty shops and they were by far the best present I got. (Except for my wormery) Am also going to make decorations this year and claim it's a more "traditional" look. We shall be foraging in the woods for pine cones to make into tree decorations, as well as a yule log and some holly and ivy to decorate it with. I'll be making paper chains and a recycled fairy for the top of the tree. I have quite a stash of crafting stuff so will also be making some cards and an alternative advent calendar. My parents are getting some flavoured oils, pickled eggs and suchlike for presents - just wish I had chickens so they were my own eggs so to speak!!
i always make my own tree decorations (edible) they are gingerbread/cinamon spice type cookies cut into festive shapes and decorated with icing suger and silver balls .
When straight out of the oven i make a hole in the top of each one so they can be hung on the tree. I usually have to make three lots before christmas day as soon as they go on the tree they are eaten!!!!! much cheaper than xmas chocs!!! and they fill the room with a great aroma!!! tina xx mum to five lovely children, nine gorgeous girls, two adorable cats a bouncey border collie pup and a patient loving hubby xxxxx
Sounds like proper Christmas is coming, I can almost smell it
I don't have chocolates on the tree, always too tempting for the kids, and now we have a dog and chocolate is poisonous for him so we don't leave any laying around either. Most of my decs I have had for years, and we tend to buy one special new one each year. One year I got some oranges and put ribbons round them and stuck cloves in and put them in a dish in the living room, smelt lovely. That is sad but happy at the same time.
I really enjoy buying gifts, I spend a lot of time chosing exactly the right thing for the right person and then wrapping them up carefully. If anything I get more pleasure doing that than receiving them. What I find upsetting is the sheer quantity that is given, and would like to go back to simpler times when we each received maybe a dozen in total and not breaking the bank There seems to be so much pressure in magazines and newspapers - how to have the perfect Christmas. Well that isn't down to a themed tree and matching tableware, its about the family being together and being happy sharing things.
I used to get really frazzled leading up to the big day and Boxing Day as I do it twice over, us the boys and David's dad on Christmas day, then my sis and her family, plus my mum and step-dad (when they are not in Spain) on Boxing Day. I wanted everything to be just right and probably tried too hard, and ended up making myself ill and not enjoying it at all. Now I don't get like that, if the dinner goes wrong so be it (one year hubby peeled all the spuds on Christmas Eve, by Boxing Day all the starch had leeched out and nothing on earth would make them cook, they were like pebbles and no one ever forgets it - but its just a funny story now). Hopefully I shall enjoy it again this year too The older generation will say their Christmases were very frugal, but they still remember the joy those simple presents they got, brought. My Mum is in her late 70's, so was a youngester in the war years. She said they usually only got a stocking, with apple, orange nuts, sweets if they were lucky, and maybe a small doll or toy. But she can still remember opening it, and thinking how wonderful it was. Her Dad was a farmer, so they always had a pig killed at Christmas, and probably sold some of the pork to pay for the stocking contents for their five children. Back then, they appreciated what they had, and were grateful.
I cannot see todays children being so thrilled to receive the above items in their stocking!! My OH and I stopped buying gifts for each other some years ago. We do not have children, so obviously no huge outlay there. As to family, we have cut back on the cost of presents as much as possible, but tend to spend around £10 on nephews and nieces, which gets difficult as they get older. I do still send some cards - mainly to keep in touch with old friends. But I buy from animal charities mainly, and do buy some gifts from their charity catalogues. I will start buying now, so its not all at once come Christmas week. We do not go overboard on food. I mean, just because its Christmas, why do people think they are going to eat double? No way, can all that food they buy be eaten!!! We used to go to my family for xmas lunch, but we stopped doing that about 10 years ago, and spend the day doing what we want - mainly with the animals. I do put a little tree up - one I have had years, and the decorations are not renewed every year, like some people do. I save stamps from the supermarket, so that along with loyalty vouchers go a long way towards our food bill at Christmas. It will be interesting to see what people do this year......will they carry on and spend regardless of the credit crunch? Or will everyone take a step back and say STOP!! We refuse to spend.. Our tree decorations are part of the family traditional christmas. Some inherited from both sides of the family.
The nursery rhyme lampshades that used to be on my Grandma's tree lights (and as children we used for inspiration in a competitive nursery rhyme team game). The fairy doll my mother made. The gilt ship that was on OH's grandmother's tree. My children all left primary school twenty years ago, so not many of their creations have survived, but they came out every year till they got far too tatty. Hey. Just thought. It's been over 20years since we've had a child in the family young enough for Christmas magic (under 5 is the best time). And by Christmas this year we should have a grandson, just up the road!!!  I wonder if part of the overspend is trying to prolong that magic for teenagers and adults. It only really works for young children.
I remember when youngest was 4 and others 11 & 13. The big construction kit was the only 'toy' for everyone to play with on Christmas Day. (We didn't know about electronic toys, if they existed then)
I think you've hit the nail on the head there Mo. I remember their little faces on Christmas morning, so excited about the smallest, silliest little thing under the tree I think when I go mad at Christmas is when I want to recreate those times. And you're right, it's never the same as you get older
Lucy x |
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BUT - it's my step son and I'm doing it for less than selfless reasons - I'm not paying for him to eat expensive rubbish when he goes to university next year LoL
