The Henpals Diary

[HenPen]

she cannot remember if it is Ginger LL or Ginger HenPen who is Queen of Fruits and she is sure there was another SIC member.

Ah yes, that would be me, Capt Ginger, Queen of Fruit! And halo-wearing all round good egg-er In fact we are all good eggers at the moment. Five multi coloured eggs today so the egg strike is a bust here as well.

Mum is very pleased about that and pleased with me for looking after poor Cupid, as she is little and has bare bits thanks to naughty Amber, and I had to keep her warm after wind ripped a bit of our roof off, the bit that used to cover our favourite standing-about spot too, and we got caught in the nasty downpour. Of course Cupid bounced back. She's a tough girl but not as tough as me.

Yes Gwen, word has reached us about the mealworms. All very worrying although us lot don't have to panic for some time as mum bought a humungous bag of mealworms a while ago, as big as a sack of pellets (but oh so much more exciting) which is still half full. But since it will be empty one day, I think we should definitely mobilise ourselves and do something about this defra fellow, whoever he is. He clearly has never before faced the wrath of the Henpals, but he will be very sorry indeed.

Good luck with the worming Gwen and girls. Hope you can still wangle some treats. I do hope you are wrong Gabby - we don't want all the mums starting a worming campaign. I think we should do everything we can to stop our mums reading each other's diaries. Perhaps standing around looking cute with food around our beaks will distract them? As you know, it's my favourite trick, and I feel it is a multi-purpose party-piece. Also works with mud, by the way - it really made mum giggle the other day... until I wiped my beak clean on her leg. She didn't like that as much but it did keep her occupied and away from the diaries!

Night all,
Ginger
SIC
STM (Save The Mealworms)
Henpals Against Wormy Pellets Campaign member

[lancashire lass]

hiya all - Ginger Spice reporting in

I'm having to sneak this post in while our mam is at work ... she's not very pleased with me at the moment because she thinks I attacked Baby. It wasn't ME but I had to join in with the others as it was fun to peck Baby's leg and watch it bleed I've tried to make up for being A Very Bad Girl and done my special begging trick when we get our yummy treat (I jump up on to the concrete tube so that I'm at the same height as the bowl that mam is holding and dip my beak in which usually makes her laugh) but it's not been going down too well lately. We even tolerated having this awful spray put on us - honest girls, I think someone should tell our mam that she has no idea of what kind of perfume we would much rather prefer. The coop absolutely stinks - one night we all sat on the perch facing the same way hoping we didn't have to breathe in the fumes from each others tails but it made no difference to the aroma in the coop.

And I've heard we are being wormed soon TOO I don't think we are getting an option either - we are running out of our other food which I'm not that bothered about, but even the treats are in short supply because mam has no money to buy more until it goes into her bank account We've been Good Girls and tried to lay a lot of eggs to sell but there's not many people buying them at the moment for some reason. I don't know why mam isn't being more worried and she should be out there trying to sell them all so that we don't run out of food and then we don't have to eat the wormy pellets and can have treats. Scary has been gnashing her beak and giving us all a scary look - it looks like she'll be supplementing her diet on the last of our bum feathers. What is our mam thinking?

I'm still playing catch up after being offline for so long, and I'm mortified that mealworms are no longer allowed. We get these as a little bedtime snack now that mam gets home from work before the sun sets, but there's never enough. Maybe when mam gets paid she'll buy us a big bag and put them in a Secret Place so that we never run out? If not, I think we will be joining the SAVE THE MEALWORMS campaign too!!

And oh yes I nearly forgot, we've been allowed to go into the Big Wide Open Space from our run Only for a few minutes - and there was lots of interesting things to eat. I think Scary managed to swallow a woody bit of tree and I got a leaf stalk or was it a winged seed thing - it took a good couple of gulps to swallow it. Posh and Baby wandered down the other side pecking the wet soil ... I'm not sure what they were eating. Mam threw some corn into the run where she had been digging so we all rushed back and had fun scratching for it. I hope we get to go out more often - there's a plant right opposite the run which mam doesn't want us to eat as she kept shoo-ing us away from it, I think it's called a honeysuckle so it must be lovely and sweet. I noticed some leaf buds on it which are just within beak reach.

It's getting very wet and windy and I can feel the rain coming through the side of the run again, so I think it's time to sign off. Take care,

Ginger Spice signing out xx

[KarenE]

Hello henpals, captain gabby here 

Well what shocking news about the mealworms! We think this defra person must be the Anti Santa! He certainly better not come to ban mealworms round our place or he will be in serious danger as Nugget is spitting feathers (everyone's as it happens, we are all still moulting). She says withdrawing our important nutritional mealworms treats is more than a violation of our Chicken Rights, it's also nothing short of Chicken Abuse!!

She's particularly hacked off because she's developed a right taste for them lately. Ooh I hope this defra person sees sense. She's talking about making a protest video for YouTube, and I don't think twerking will be in it

I like the sound of the wrath of the henpals! definitely our flock are fully signed up to the Save The Mealworms campaign and are standing by for orders about tactics from the SIC.

Now, Ginger Fruit not Spice, I think you are right too about not letting mums read other mums diaries. We had lots of success running round with grass in our beaks during our previous sweetcorn in the freezer, liberate the sardines and Christmas dinner campaigns and it's a stroke of genius to resurrect this very successful tactic. Don't forget to spend all day looking through the kitchen window with grass in your beaks as mums obviously need lots of distraction. The only problem is the wind - it's quite hard keeping the grass in our beaks with all this wind flying round! In fact, it's quite hard staying on our feet. We have all been blown round like fluff balls today.

Worrying news from the Spice Hens just confirms our fears that the wormy pellets idea is gathering momentum with mums. if the grass in our beaks needs extra distraction techniques, maybe we can combine the zigaziga dance? And there's always our secret weapon, the Wiggy Dance?

Gwen x hen, do tell Janet Million Eggs And Deirdre Double Yolker that the no egging campaign was called off at the weekend so they can relax (which might help with the egg laying!) It seems that laying eggs is dangerous, and not laying eggs is dangerous. Nugget says it's our blessing and curse - she can be very deep sometimes. 

Ah, these are troubling times for the henpals - if ebbing.no ebbing, no mealworms and wormy pellets weren't enough to contend with, we're also having awful weather! Sometimes, it feels that us adorable hens just aren't being appreciated!

Captain gabby
Save the mealworms campaign!!
Henpals against wormy pellets

[KarenE]

I am so distressed by the whole mealworms and wormy pellets, that I wrote ebbing instead of egging!

Gabs

[sandy]

Good Evening,
My name is Deirdre (002) Gwen says I have to put my designation number after my name?I seem to be also known by the name Deirdre Double Yolker? It seems I along with fellow members of the SIC(I like to think that stands for Super Intelligent Chicken)are required to pull our sources for a matter of great urgency. As you know Gwen is allowed to post on here with mother's promise she does look at any other section or indeed diary, I assume that does not apply to the SIC henpals. I have a slight problem, I have been trawling the diaries for nuggets of information(I did find a Nugget by the way) and am heartily confused. Captain Gabby's mother has hinted my colleague is Ginger Spice but Ginger Henpen has revealed herself to be my fellow top ranked superior Quite honestly gals we need as much intelligence as we can get so I will begin our meeting and hope a Ginger will be decoding and decrypting for us. You all know fellow hens and Sirs that our enemy is known as Defra, and their has been great speculation where this person is a male or female, speculate no further we are convinced it is indeed a female. Beryl and myself have spent many nights(days are for eating and preening) and have at last deciphered the code. Defra is infact a female whos real name is Freda! I have decided therefore fellow members of SIC we need to investigate the internet for this fiendish Freda's website. This is indeed our first task, I will be using Gwen's phone, as I am indeed doing so now. I will await the results of your activities fellow comrades.
A very good evening to you
Deirdre (002)
S.I.C.
ssshhh hush hush

Hi Henpals
It's Gwen reporting in as a mere hen! As you can see Deirdre has sprung into action since mealworms may become like Dodos to us. She was very lucky to be able to do so as I think mum would have taken my phone away if she had remembered I still had it. I have been very worried about Elsa and Beth today, they were both in the round rubber thingy where we used to have some compost and sand to bathe but it is now empty as Olive kicked it all out she is always kicking out the bedding in the office nestbox and some of my sisters who like to lay in there are dropping their eggs on a hard surface!I am concerned Elsa and Beth will hurt themselves as they are still dustbathing! Honestly they are swirling around and kicking their legs like they are doing a mime of dustbathing. I am sure they will do themselves and injury and being the concerned elder to these little sweet girls I am constantly trying to round them up and get them out. Of course they cannot understand what I say (I can't bok, I growl) so I have to get physical with them and peck them out. I just don't believe the injustice I am the one being shouted at by mum when surely she should be seeing the foolishness of their ways and be getting them out herself! Hmmmm!
Mind you mum has ben acted rather strangely today! After our bedrooms were cleaned, water filled up(why does she bother we have so many lovely muddy puddles) and the ten minute ground poo pick which Olive and Ruby help with by attaching themselves to mums boots she then out some white powder in our water drinkers. Then she poured the drink up ye cider in our puddles and scattered pink powder over the especially lovely slimy mud. Then she was off by the bank picking up stones and broken bricks and put them over holes. Deirdre says we have furry creatures coming at night who want to live with us , she said they were like the yummy mice but bigger. I suppose they don't come out in the daytime because Olive would eat them? Anyhow mum seems to be getting very upset about this, but when she came down later she said a man coming on monday after dinner(please what is dinner?) to see the rat creatures. I know dinner is when it is light so why is he coming when the rats wont be there?
Wiggy I told Dee about the Wiggy Woo dance and Spice family about your Zigzaggy dance and suggested it may help with the Freda thing. She wants to see the evidence and asks you to post your videos on this diary.
Big big news we are still on wormy pellets, we had them mashed up the other day and ate every crumb so we got TREATS, hmm today we had them dry, didn't eat them all and NO TREATS so henpals insist on having them semi mushy as they do taste much better then you may still get TREATS
Phew I am very tired now, so nitey nite henpals
Gwen X the hen(007)
Campaigning for TREATS with wormy pellets, any anything else
Def to Freda!
xxxxx

[KarenE]

Hello henpals (serious face, serious face!) Captain gabby here!

My, Deirdre Double Yolker has got off to a flying start! Nugget is very impressed with her focus, and as she has mastered surfing the interwebs on the ipad thingy says she will have a hunt around for this Frieda Defra person. She says she knows people, who know people...

A quick Nugget surf reveals this Freda Defra person is even more sinister than we thought! They are looking to put badgers on contraception, and if they can do that to badgers what will they do to us???? Perhaps a mealworms ban is just the start of their terror campaign?? (serious face, serious face... deep breaths! DEEP BREATHS!!!)
http://www.sundaypost.com/news-views/uk ... n-1.219561" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Excellent tip about the wormy pellets Gwen 007, all henpals are advised that this is tactic no. 3 (assuming tactic no 1 of grass in our beaks and tactic no 2 of zigyziga and Wiggy dancing doesn't work)

As for egging - we are now adopting Shock and Awe tactics, to keep mum on her feet. Will she find an egg? Will it be teeny tiny or fullsized? Will it be hard or soft? Will it even be in a nest? WHO KNOWS?? Now THAT'S Shock and Awe!

Nugget has found a brilliant military manual full of brilliant military tactics on the ipad thingy. It's called Angry Birds and she's learning loads ready for the Chicken Revolution or the Freda Defra Battle. She's persuaded Toffee to start laying Big Bomb Eggs. We have spent all weekend scrabbling round the garden for bits of wood we can make into a caterpilt, which we can use to launch Toffee's Big Bomb Eggs and possibly me as well. Nugget is very excited and is spending ages (when she isn't googling Freda Defra) practicing the tactics on this handy simulation they have on the ipad thingy. So far, she's at level 2 and reckons another week and she'll be battle ready.

So - SIC??? What's our next steps?

Captain gabby
Henpals Against Wormy Pellets
Stop Freda Defra Campaign and Save Our Mealworms!

[KarenE]

Hello henpals, a very sad Captain Gabby reporting in with news which I'm sure will affect all henpals.

Reporting the very sudden and very very sad demise of our Fallen Comrade Hero, Toffee

We're not sure what happened exactly. Toffee was racing round the garden with us yesterday hunting out wood for our caterpilt and getting herself ready to lay Big Bomb Eggs. We all went to bed happy and exhausted like we do every night after a busy day of chickening and we all had a bit of a sing song as Nugget googled Freda Defra until we all got too tired to stay awake.

When we got up this morning, Toffee had already got up and was waiting for our chicken door to open, but when it did she didn't come out and stayed there for ever. Mum took her away and we all went to her funeral this afternoon. It was very sad, but a fitting tribute to our great fallen comrade.

Now there is a MASSIVE Toffee shaped hole in the garden and coop. Who is going to fill our bedroom full of poo and eggs now? Nugget and i have been very down all day, even rooting round the garden didn't have the same joy it usually does, so we stuck close to Mum whenever she came out.

Nugget said that we must remember Toffee, and Cassie and all our other lovely henpals and remember that they all had super times with us in our garden and everything, and that any time out of our horrible cages was brilliant no matter how long it was for.

Here's to our brave big girl Toffee, fearless and MASSIVE to the last - comrade, We Salute You!

Captain Gabby (in a black wingband)
Remembering All The Fallen Henpal Comrades
Not forgetting the Def to Defra campaign

[sandy]

Captain Gabby and Nugget we here down in the South wish to send you our sincere condolences for the loss of you beautiful sister Toffee.
Gwen xxxxx

[sandy]

Fellow henpals, as I do not think it is appropiate to be waging war today I have enclosed a detailed exercise on how to remove uppity upstarts from your mum's lap….
Elsa fancies a sit down on mum

Henpals take heed I am watching her closely

Elsa is on lap


You can see I am concentrating on my next move(Georgina said I looked huffy)

Once you let one upstart upstage you another one thinks she can try her luck too,Martha-Joans

Yes I now am huffy


Okay I have seen off MJ

Notice how subtely I pretend I have an itch



Now I mean business


With my superiority Elsa is in a trance of fear



And shes off

[sandy]

Hello all, especially Gabby and Nugget to help you get a good nights sleep I have posted some photos of myself which Ruby says will soon have you drifting off…





I like to guard the pathetic dustbath







I am sure our comrade Toffee is in the company of our beautiful girls who have previously taken the journey over the rainbow bridge
xxxxx

[KarenE]

Hello henpals, a stoic Captain Gabby here

Oooh Gwen, we are well impressed with your stealth tactics! Nugget asks if you have had special training, she is so impressed with your manoevres she thinks you could be in the Chicken Elite Forces (which is basically me and her.) Henpals, this is pretty much a tactics manual and guarantees success for dealing with upstart lap sitters! In fact now that I have seen the step-by-step play in picture format, I've just realized Nugget has been doing that to me all year when I go to sit on Mum's lap. (But she is not as refined and stealthy as you Gwen X!)

Like I said - proven success tactics!

Gwen though, at the risk of upsetting you all in Southern Chicken Palace - that is the sorriest, saddest dustbath I have ever seen. Honestly, have a word with your mum! At least put a spadeful of flippin' soil in!

It has been a strange day today. Mum got up early and let us out so we've had all day to play in the garden but we couldn't bring ourselves to look for more wood for our caterpilt (now that we won't have Toffee's Big Bomb Eggs to launch it seems a waste). Dad burned all the wood we'd found anyway, for some reason he couldn't see the masterpiece of our engineering feats and just thought it was a load of chopped down tree.

Nugget spent loads of time snuggling up to mum whilst I pottered about a lot. Mum tried to lift our spirits with mealworms, corn and mash but it didn't work for me anyway. So then she tried raisins.

Raisins - what's that all about henpals?

I'll tell you what that's all about. It's about as GOOD AS IT GETS!!! Raisins are my new best friends now! And I scoffed them all - Nugget was too busy eating the mash to realise there were raisins on the go! This is why henpals we need to stay sharp and alert to every eventuality, and not be put off by diversionary tactics like mash.

lovely pics of you Gwen X Hen. Mum took some pics of us in the garden but in her typically tardy way hasn't posted them up yet. I shall have words tomorrow.

Thank you for posting and cheering us up! Now - what about all the other henpals? We need dispatches from all our fellow troops!

Captain Gabby
Save Our Mealworms and Down With Freda Defra!
Upstarts Must Be Dealt With!

[HenPen]

Hi Henpals,

We are all so sad to hear of the loss of our fallen comrade Toffee - it is a huge loss to our virtual flock, and we are sending Gabs and Nugget lots of hugs.

Gwen Hen, you are awesome. I think if I was in your flock I would do everything you told me!

And Gabby, I am glad you enjoyed your raisins. I am not sure about them but Capt Ginger thinks raisins are pretty good.

Not much to report here. I must see if Mum will arrange a photo session soon because I am looking pretty good, if I do say so myself, now that my floppy comb is almost back to normal and my new feathers have come through.

Wiggy Woo

[Bridgets Mum]

Hi Gwen
Hope you don't mind a mere human posting in your diary. I haven't had a chance to read it all but you are obviously a mega journalist and I'm looking forward to following your blog.
Can I just say that you are looking extremely well - total pin up girl. All chicky power to you.
xx

[KarenE]

Oooh a human! Are they allowed to read our diary?

Perhaps Mrs Human you have some chickens who would like to get involved in our friendly blog which is all about sharing the love around our flocks and not about plotting chicken revolutions and hatching campaigns to get more treats at all.

That about sums up me and Nugget today. Because guess what henpals? Some perfect flippin STRANGER has moved into OUR coop and run!!! She was only having a dustbath in OUR dustbath - the nerve of it!

UNBELIEVABLE!!!!

Nugget and I aren't quite sure what tactics to adopt. We can't use the uppity upstarts tactics because she isn't trying to get on Mum's lap - YET! We tried the crying and shouting tactics, which just gave us all headaches after a while (including the new chicken). Nugget did the bok on the head thing as we were going to bed (Dad had kept us up way past our bedtime in a deliberate attempt to tire us out - soooo obvious!) and I adopted the unnerving tactic of ignoring her. I aim to keep her on her toes, so she can't anticipate my every move.

Apart from that, henpals we are open to suggestion! She's even sleeping in our nest boxes now!

Captain Gabby
Evict The Squatter Campaign!
Def to Freda Defra and Save Our Mealworms Campaign

[HenPen]

Capt Ginger (QF - that's Queen of Fruits) here to report on our shocked reactions to your news Capt Gabby. We didn't even know new girls were allowed to move in. We have been here for almost a year and nobody has moved in at all.
So thank you for the heads up and here are the responses of my flock to your predicament, in our own words:

Miranda - "Well clearly Gabby's reaction of total distain is the correct one. Carry on that soldier."
Me (Ginger) - "I think the best way forward is to be civil but don't take any mucking about. You must maintain order in the ranks."
Amber - "Definitely show her who is boss by any means necessary. I think Nugget has made a good start with her pre-emptive head bok."
Cupid - "Just don't let her take all the food! I suggest moving very swiftly when it comes to treats, make sure you are in position early, stand on wellies or go for high ground (knees etc)."
Wiggy - "That sounds very frightening. Just try to stay on her good side."