The Henpals Diary

[KarenE]

Evening henpals, Captain Major Remie here

I remain undead - not in the zombie sense of course, like wot Casper dressed up as at Halloween, but in the not-popped-me-clogs sense. I am cheating the

Sadly though I have to report an insurrection in the ranks, by me. I have broken Casper's moulting etikette and as hard as I try to keep all my feathers in and tidy, I am moulting more than one feather a week, wot we all know is against the law an all. And to add insult to injury, our marvellous sell-our-feathers ebay shop wot Tiggsy set up was taken down after the tens of complaints about the trades descriptions act wot is a real pity as we always said my lovely black and goldy feathers would make us a FORTUNE in sales to put towards the costs of the chicken revlootion. Mainly costs of mealworms.

I might see if I can get Tiddly Piddly to set it back up again, as I am sure that when Dory Grey of the Woos is ready to moult, we can sell her fantastic top knot for squillions and keep ourselves in mealworms for ever.

How rude of me - I got straight down to business without sending condolences over to the Pink Ladies on the sad loss of Doris Porridge, and to send best wishes to Treacle Opolous who has been diagnosed with long term health problems wot means she will need tons of care and medicinal treats, not to mention special doodles from Bill. Also same again to Lilly and Snow White of the Flok of P&R who we are sure will get their own special doodles from their own henpal hunks.

Everyone remains in tip top shape in our coop, apart from me of course. Blimey Casper and Tiggly Wiggly were right when they said moulting didn't half take it out on you!

The bad news from our flok is that the ratty is back, wot is an absloot disgrace of course as he or she or it is scoffing all our pellets in the night. Wot with the ratty having midnight feats and all the little birdies in the garden nicking them through the day, it's a wonder there's any left for us! Perhaps this is why my feathers is falling out, in shock at the appalling care of our dietry requirements. And to add insult to injury, mum has set up a trap in our greenhouse baited with something wot looks super delicious wot we can't have, being as how she is refusing to give us access to said greenhouse. Disgraceful deprivation of our favourite dustbathing spot. We have been reduced to digging dustbaths in our run, wot is always fraught as we know Jasper likes to wee and poo in them. Nobody likes to see something like that in their nice relaxing bath!

Anyway, henpal wishes to all henpals in need, and nighty night from the House of the Revlootion

Major Captain Remie
Listening for ratty parties
Henpal wishes to all

[sandy]

Hello Henpals
Hello Boys
Cadet Honeybun Pinkerton here.
I am out on my nightly prowl as are other noisy creatures so I shall of course stay within the confines of our house(like I have a choice!)
Earlier today I was the one that got the cream well actually it was cucumber and as I am not a cat I am not supposed to like cream which of course I have never tasted as our mum says cream is a big no no.

Naturally I felt like the Queen of the Castle or more appropiately Top Hen and All

As you can see I was soon put firmly in my place

Aha but are any of my sisters Pinkertons?
We have had a very strange week. A man came to put black gluey stuff on our roof to stop new leaks coming through. Gracie thought it was a new spa system to save her going ip the house to have her never regions washed. Then another man came and asked about Alice and Abbie, apparently he built the first part of our house back in 2008 so it was very wishful thinking that he was going to meet them! Of course we all know who Abbie was as we have a photo of her in our (sorry mums) office.
Mum has of course been quite sad since the truly horrible event last week , I have been being extra helpful by following mum every where to make sure she is fully occupied when she is in our house. I have been extra villigant in my habit regarding her hair, she has been saying she feels like pulling her hair out so I have been yanking out as much as I can to help her.
Lottie and Dottie spent nearly a whole day sitting in the big dustbath wondering when Doris Porridge would return until haze (who has been up vets a few times) told them sometimes you go up and come back sometimes you go up and never return. This of course was no help as they have both been up vets and have returned obviously but will now be really scared if they have to go up again. Concerning lottie and Dottie it seems i am back to runt of the litter girl again as they are very sparky and Dottie has stood her ground with gracie and Maureen recently when they dared venture into the cube area so I will be staying right away.
Lara from Bob's house we loved your little joke We all needed to have a little chuckle so thankyou very much.
Major Remie we are amazed, you are doing a Haze and we are so very happy. Major Millie says now you are off of sick leave maybe you can converse with her regarding SIC matters(ooh just the word sic makes me go queasy) whatever they may be? Honestly Millie Ped just seems to like her beauty sleep and needs to get her act together and post!
And so now…..EASTER henpals…….
It seems we all have to lay huge big brown eggs, not just the usual brown like us ginger ninjas do but really big ones so I reckon maybe our mums and dads may give us lots of treats to enable us to do this but Eva says we lay better eggs when we don't have treats so thats no good is it where is the incentive! We could lay really really brown eggs if we cover them in lots of our poo but the stumbling block is we have to wrap them in foil and where are we supposed to get that from?
Hmmm I am getting a headache about this now so look forward to your thoughts on our Easter revolution tactics.
Over and out tonight
Cadet Honeybun
(Thankyou Haze for the airtime)
Our henpal love to treacle and Lilly
Pink Ladies Division

[bikesandbirdsbob]

Lara from the house of Penelope and Red , reporting , Hide your eggs , not just at easter all the time. It is so much fun for the silly people to look for them at Easter ,make their day and do it regular as well...
Sickies in garden not for long -
lara

[HenPen]

Hi all, Wiggy Wiggleton Woo reporting in ( and wiggling my wig in a secret and hard to copy way to my fellow member of the Sisterhood of Woo),

We of the HP Saucies have been celebrating the miraculous rising from the not-very-well-at-all of our comrade in wings, Remie. But at the same time we have been greatly saddened by the loss of Doris Porridge and send our sympathies and boks to the Pink Ladies, the teeny weenies and their Pink mum.

Our news is that Miranda has been sowing pre-Easter confusion: yesterday mum looked in the nest box and found two dark and speckledy Miranda eggs. And now she can't work out whether she was forgetful and didn't check the nest box the day before, which I heard her muttering she is sure she did, or whether Miranda is on egg overdrive. I did ask Miranda to reveal the truth just between us pals - but she just said it was her secret and looked smug. Mind you, Henpals, she may be my best mate but I don't think I'm speaking out of turn if I say smug is her go-to expression.

Wishing Henpal and Woo wishes to Treacle and the poorly House of P&R girls,
Capt Wiggy
HP Saucies

[kitla]

Hello henpals and boys(shhh Bill doesnt like me talking to other boys)
Nettle here, due to Misspiggy being very busy all day - she is sitting in the nest trying very hard to hatch the egg mum calls Eggbert. She tried last year too, so did Beany and it didnt work, personally I think there's something suspicious about Eggbert, not one of us remembers laying it! hmmmm! Well Misspiggy is constipating very hard so if she cant do it none of us will......Tiny just said my spelling is useless! Well to clever Tiny, just because she's become Bill's girlfriend this week. This I know because I saw she has a love bite on her comb - even thought mum covered it with white cream-stuff, aaand lately she's been trying to sleep with us in our big coop so she can stare at Bill all night , but mum always finds her and puts her back into the small house with Lady Giblet. I cant take any pictures today because it's raining so much. I'm off to cuddle up to Treacle who keeps me warm and dry with her hugeness and millions of feathers.
Goodbye henfriends far and wide, stay dry
Nettle

[sandy]

Hello Henpals
Hello Boys
Ooh Nettle want I wouldn't give to live in your house and of course your house too Lara!
Lara have you been organising the human ritual egg hunting? Sounds a good idea but Eva points out if our mummies and daddies think we are not laying eggs they will stop our treats?
Miranda you seem to have taken the opposite tactic and over laying, hmmm this Easter is as Eva says a real teaser(yes we think it may be really spelt that way! )
Honeybun has done some research on the foil, she says milk bottles have foil tops and all you free rangers need to commandere the tops but DO NOT act like a sparrow and drink any of the milk. Honeybun reckons if you can get enough you can join them together and cover your eggs.
Yes well thankyou Honeybun for that little gem.
Oh if only we had Deedee Mahoney here. Rems you need to get flicking through the manifesto, try under March or April(months that is not hens) while we will insist Major Millie gets on with the writings of Silkiebabe.
It maybe we may have to include the silver pigeons in our Easter tactics, they are not easy to converse with, they yell when the dividing door is shut and Dottie attacks anyone who gets through it. This of course is a bit embarrassing considering the size of her
Well my little brain is aching now so I will get off to sleep
Best wishes to Treacle and Lilly
Big hugs to the House of Bob with the sad loss of Snow White
Cadet Haze
Pink Ladies Division

[KarenE]

Good afternoon henpals, Factual Investigator Cadet Dory Grey of the Woo Woo Clan here and wiggling my wig in a secret and woo-like way

The extophenanall says I must first send commiserations to the flock of Penelope and Red on the loss of Snow White. This is a very sad fact that she has departed for the Rainbow Bridge so we all send to all her henpals. And we send lovely henpal wishes to Lilly of the same flock, who like Treacle Opolous has been diagnosed by a vet person who has studied facts for years to become a vet, with a long term health condition too which will mean lots of special care and special diets and of course special doodles from the henpal hunks.

I have seen pictures of all the henpal hunks and they are hansom and that's another fact!

Now I am sure everyone is waiting with bated breath to find out how the extophenanall is. Well, she is pinheady and that is a fact! This is making her stroppy, mainly with Tiddly Diddly, as she doesn't have the nerve to be stroppy with Chestnut. All of them are moulting - obviously this is something that ladies of a certain age do. I am not moulting and if it makes you pinheady and stroppy I never will!

Yesterday me and extophenanall had a lovely snooze on mum's legs. The ETHAA has been banging on for ages about the delights of underclaw heating so I thought I'd give it a go myself and it is fab henpals, and that's a fact too!

She has been thinking hard about the easter egg issue and I have been doing lots of factual research. We also discussed it with Tiddly and Chestnut who ETHAA says have their uses (!) and we have all hatched this cunning plan, which is based on solid factual evidence:

1. Henpals should keep laying eggs but hide HALF of our eggs so mum's don't stop treats

2. We know the peoples like chocolate covered eggs. We don't have chocolate but poo is just as good, so take half our hidden clutch of eggs and cover them in our best henpal poos

3. We gather foil like Hunnybunny Pinkerton says and if we can't find foil we use our sparkliest feathers instead, and stick these all over the poo-eggs

4. We hide our hidden eggs - the sparkly poo ones and the normal ones - all round the garden on easter special day for mums and dads to find

5. They will be so delighted by our cleverness that we will be inundated with treats for evermore

This is a plan.

Before I go, I must tell you about the best day ever which was yesterday! We had the best treat day ever and from now on yesterday will be remembered as the Day of the Best Ever Treats Ever Let me present the facts and you will all agree it was the Day of the Best Ever Treats Ever

Facts:

1. We had an egg that Tiddly Widdly broke open when mum was silly and put it on the ground.

2. We had lovely yummy mash

3. We had sunflower seeds, corn and mealworms

4. We had yummy grapes and raisins

5. I found a yummy massive worm so that was a special treat all to me

6. We had another egg that the extophenanall laid without a shell, so we scoffed that too

I think we all agree that a Two Egg Treat day is the Day of the Best Ever Treats Ever!

Off now to see if today can match up to yesterday

Dory Grey
Secret Sisterhood

[sandy]

Major Millie reporting in
Hello Henpals
Hello Boys
So the concensus seems we poo all over our eggs, cover them in milk bottle tops, and hide some? Hmmm us Ped Girls are going to have a bit of trouble hiding them, have you ever seen the size of our run? Violet would find this rather hard as she lays in front of her mum!
It seems to me you and your lot Major Rembrandt must be doing something very very special to get all of those treats so I think you need to share.
We are having a bit of a problem retrieving Silkiebabe's memoirs as of course this must be done without the knowledge of our daddy who is spending an inordinate amount of time playing with the vegetable beds and by night Duckhouse Cal is sleeping in there!
I will close tonight early as we are all sending our love to The House of Bob on the very sad loss of Lilly
Major Millie Ped
The Pink Ladies also sending lots of love and hugs
xxxxx

[sandy]

Hello Henpals
Hello Boys


Honeybun Pinkerton reporting in…….sshh I Dory Grey I havent got a wig but I am mainly undercover(especially since we had our roof extended)
Cadet Haze and the others are eating green flowers called brocolli, I have tried and failed to grab a piece so I will wait until later when they are stuffed and preening. Yes that is the lot of us underhens! Aha but I have seized the phone to post on our diary. I really dont know why mum dosent let me lodge with the silver pidgeons who are now both expecting imaginery chicks and ignoring their green flowers totally!
Haze had come to the conclusion the best way to get treats is for us ALL to be WELL. Muckbum Gracie has been very astute and noticed we dont get treats when someone is sickly, like last week when Maureen was a poorly girl. Gracie has a lot of time on her hands seeing as she never preens that area that really needs doing. Honestly I have to share a bedroom with her and my does it pong! At least we have a bit more room now as Eva is sleeping outside.
We beleive the big festival is tomorrow and no one has managed to make any brown eggs let alone thieve some shiny foil. I have been working on my help mum tactics by jumping up and pulling at her apron strings so she dosent have to bother having to waste time having to undo it when she gets in and the rest of us have been trying to be ultra healthy (even Sally Ped) so as not to worry mum and there be no excuse for any withhold of treats.
So henpals if any of your plans have worked please let us know…..
Looking forward to the BIG DAY tomorrow
Honeybun Pinkerton
Health to all
Treats to all
Easter for all

[sandy]

Hello Henpals
Hello Boys
Cadet Haze here

Hens (lack of) teeth
Gracie who is our official diary reader(thats mums and dads diaries) has seen that our mum has a new girl! Why is she up the house? We were getting very jealous as anyone who goes up the house usually gets a nice spa and lots of yummy treats but then we heard mum ma eat her
Eva says this must be wrong as our mum never eats animals so we are very confused!
We will obviously have to investigate this all a bit further and get back to you….
Cadet Haze
Pink LadiesDivision

Hmmm what has a rabbit got to do with the Easter? If only the girls and boys from Bob's house were able to post they would surely know

[sandy]

Hello Henpals
Hello Boys
First off we need a big surge of get well wishes to wing their way to Lily's flock for poorly Marigold, so come on henpals
Well our big day was fun, fun , fun! We got grapes and potatoes and sunflower seeds When it got a bit dark we were allowed in our old cube area to have a good roam around. Silly Gracie tried climbing the ladder to go to bed but of course it was locked to keep the silver pidgeons safe. Mum only let us go in there because they were both tucked up in bed already.
We had new bedding tonight which is lovely and soft and Gracie got a cut around her bum area so it wont be smelly tonight.
We got no chocolate but we did get an egg because it had a kiss curl on the top which was another lovely treat.
We hope you all had a great Easter time in your flocks.
Cadet Haze
Pink Ladies Division
Along with The Ped Girls sending GET WELL wishes Marigold

[KarenE]

Morning henpals, Major Remie here

Henpal wishes to Marigold from the House of the Revlootion, get better soon!

Onto the bad news - we failed in our easter mission of poo eggs We laid loads of lovely eggs as instructed but as fast as we laid them, mum found them an all, even though we laid them in our secret favourite nestbox wot is on the floor under the table in our coop. So mum picked them all up before we even had a chance to cover them in poo, and we had been doing loads of extra poos in our nestboxes wot mum also kept picking up! So no eggs for us to cover in poos and sparkly feathers and thieved tin foil for mum to hunt about the garden for yesterday. Most disappointing.

Dory Grey did some factual investigating and found out that peoples think bunnies lay the easter eggs! How daft are mums and dads?? Especially our mums, you would think they'd know that hens lay eggs, not bunnies! The eggs that bunnies lay are indeed brown like the Pinkerton Hunnybunny said, and not brown in a sensible way like wot our lovely brown eggs is. These are brown in a wrong way, and the only other thing we know of wot is as brown are those horrible squishy stinky poos we sometimes do, so my goodness me people are eating eggs covered in our worst stinky brown poos!

Tiddly, who is our ofishul mum's diary reader, said that probly the pink ladies mum's chicken is also made of this brown stinky squidgy poo.

Dory Grey said there is no accounting for taste.

We hope all henpals had a lovely easter day. We spent all day running about the garden in the sun, and I had a lovely long sit down on mum's knees, wot was a bit traumatic as she kept sniffling and sneezing an all. Wobbled me all over the place she did. Tiddly Widdly had the temerity to hop up onto MY mum's knees, and I soon sorted that out! Dory Grey I have allowed up as she is my henpal wing girl, but uppity upstarts is another matter an all!

Today's weather doesn't look good henpals! The windy wind has been keeping us up all night and the rainy rain has come into our run and made our feets wet

Major Remie
Sporting a wet look

[KarenE]

Evening henpals, Major Remie here

This is an emergency order from Henpal Command to all henpal floks an all, to send healing henpal wishes to Marigold of the Flok of Lily, who is feeling very under the weather and has had a trip to the scary needle person an all, such is her hour of need

If there are any henpal wishes to spare (Marigold needs a super strength dose) can we also send a few to Chops and Marian of the flok of penelope and red an all, who both have sore eyes, probably from being super vigilant all the time in their search for treats

Major Remie
Henpal Command
Huge to Marigold, with some spares to Chops and Marian

[sandy]

Hello Henpals
Hello Boys
Big get well wishes extended to Marigold, and to Marilyn, Marion,Sally and Naomi Num-Num please all flocks

Cadet Haze
(in my own office space)
Pink Ladies Division
Millie and The Ped Girls

[KarenE]

Hello henpals Major Remie here

Will all henpals please continue to send henpal wishes to Marigold, who is on the mend but not out of the woods yet. Come on Marigold!

Also wishes needed for Marian of the flok of Penelope and Red, who has a sore eye and has had a noperation on it by the scary needle people. Marian definitely needs henpal vibes!

And for Marilyn who is a henpal in the flok of Hillier, who we hear is also under the weather.

to all henpals who are not very well

Also condolences tot he Peds, Pink Ladies and the Pink Mummy on the very sad loss of Naomi Num-Num, who passed over the bridge most unexpectedly yesterday. She will be much missed, we are sure

Captain Major Remie