Good evening henpals, Factual Investigator Corp Dory Grey here
I have taken over official Henpal duties due to circumstances which are very factually sad, as we all know. I shall fly the Henpal flag high, as the tophenanall would have wanted!
Another very sad duty - I have to report the very sad fact that Lily the Pink has rushed to escort Major Remie, Lara and Sky over the rainbow bridge, in a very fitting guard of honour. Condolences to the Pink Ladies and of course to the Pink Mummy.
On a more cheerful note - we have new henpals! Firstly, it is an exciting fact that millions of new recruits have been press-ganged into the Ped House, so we look forward to exciting campaigns as Major Millie will whip them all into shape and that's a fact!
And even more exciting is a brand new Henpal flock joins us! Welcome to Queenie, who is a fine figure of a girl and that's another fact! It is a fact that optimum Henpal weight is about 4-5lbs, not including teeny tiny sparkly henpals of course, so you look bang on target to me, and I have done tons of factual investigation and know loads about everything!
Tiddly very much admires Queenie's covert sneaking duties, as we are sure the HoneyBunny would too as the official Pinkerton agent.
Tiddly has been getting right into her Henpal job which the Major gave her special like, of reading all the mum's and dad's diaries, and has discovered that Marian The Eyes is not very well (another sad fact) and so we are sending all our Henpal get-well wishes to the dog cage (which is where she lives. We all think this us very strange, to choose to live in a cage, especially Chestnut and Tiddly who only just got out of one!)
And that is the end of my short Henpal update for tonight
Factual Investigator Corp Dory Grey Not quite got the hang of inspirational signatures yet
Karen Alpha chick to: Smudge, Matisse and Bluebell
Chief servant to Marley the cat
Remembering Weeps, Rexie, Sage, Cassie, Toffee, Captain Gabby, Commander Nugget, Ronnie, Juno, Special Poetry and Reading Casper, Tigger, Tophenanall Rembrandt, Chestnut, Tiddly, Willow, Mango, Coco, Dorian Grey and Pokey.
Also my lost furries Charlie and Jasper
The infiltrators continue to occupy my garden. Their attempts at intimidation are feeble at best - the Evil Eye fails when the eyes are insignificant specks of black. Their greatest weapon is not the beak, which is easily avoided if one remains alert - so far, my Shield of Invincibility holds and their attacks remain fruitless. No, their most deadly weapon is The Poo. It is impossible to avoid, and each encounter with it saps the will more.
My domain remains safe, save for the kitchen and my food bowl. I protect it as best I can but even my valiant efforts are sometimes not enough. Such is the state of the siege that food is now rationed - a meagre scrap but twice a day. This is intolerable - I AM the Dark Overlord! I will not be defeated!
If there are any creatures who have found a way to defeat these vile interlopers please PM me, or better yet, join me as one of my minions and let us defeat them together, and take our world back!
Jasper Dark Overlord ----------------------------------------- End of communication------destroy all traces------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Karen Alpha chick to: Smudge, Matisse and Bluebell
Chief servant to Marley the cat
Remembering Weeps, Rexie, Sage, Cassie, Toffee, Captain Gabby, Commander Nugget, Ronnie, Juno, Special Poetry and Reading Casper, Tigger, Tophenanall Rembrandt, Chestnut, Tiddly, Willow, Mango, Coco, Dorian Grey and Pokey.
Also my lost furries Charlie and Jasper
Hello lovely feathered ladies and mediocre boys (cos I'm the only really hansome one) Its Bill here. I think Jasper you should send all those girlies that you dont like to this garden please! I am getting rather lonely here with only old lady Spotty who likes to be left alone, lady Treacle who is sometimes unwell and has to sit down alot, and big Beany who sometimes hides from me I think. All my other ladies are sitting in their boxes and when they come out they are very grumpy.
"He who is cruel to animals becomes hard also in his dealings with men. We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." --Immanuel Kant
I have been evicted from my cage and have to find my own food and manservant has stopped spoiling me , advise please from the revolutionary flocks. Should I persist in the standing on my own or join the flock for left overs. The furies have been sleeping in my box and eating my food. The scary people with needles dont love me anymore and sent me home . I am the most famous girl around as my photo is on lots of cameras . Attention seeking Marian (no mates ). Make-up recommendation for scar covering. Trying powder and saw dust bathing but not sticking . Will pas on to Lav as he needs it more than me.
Well hellooo henpals, it's Bill here...lonely Bill. All my ladies are sitting in boxes again, even beautiful Beany has gone back in there, I've seen her squashed in with big Bonny. Old Spotty is still about, but she prefers to be on her own and always goes to bed early, hmph! So it's just me and enormous Treacle who huffs and puffs and sits down alot and really isnt interested in helping me look for nesting places. I've tried doing my special dance for the mystery lady behind the fence, but she doesnt seem to notice me! She looks a bit like Spotty but younger. I think there should be a henpal meetup....soon... in my garden! No boys allowed except me of course. Every lovely henpal lady will get a grape from me.
"He who is cruel to animals becomes hard also in his dealings with men. We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." --Immanuel Kant
Oh dear Lonely Bill, those girls of yours don't know how lucky they are to have a handsome chap to look after them. Sigh. You would be properly appreciated by the HP Saucies.
I don't want to cause any alarm, but did anyone else notice a Dark Overlord posting on here, moaning about Henpals on their actual diary? That doesn't seem like the sort of thing we should have to put up with, does it?
Marian, we are glad you are well enough to come out of the cage although it does seem a bit beyond the pale if you can't carry on getting special treatment and treats.
Quaker ,religous leader of the house of Penelope and Red , Alass poor Marian is no more ,gone to fly the Rainbow Bridge,to meet her old friends she loved so much ,Missed by those she left behind. Lav ,Parker and Champ keep us safe ,Our bold heads can prove the rest. Corn and pellets .Cabbage and bread, Mealworms and sweet corn are the best, Weathered the winter and died in the summer , not much in it ,when it comes to the best. 40 of us survivors is all thats left of a flock of boys and girls that numbered great. Oldest girl is Chalkie whos 6 , Cloud and Eagle the auctioned chicks the babies of the street. Brodies are keen to hatch out some chicks , buy eggs are knicked. I lead the raaids but do not stop ,just keep on running till I get to the door stop. The street is my oyster and the kids give me treats , I am the best and grab all the treats . Flock of 12 lead all the rest ,Morning, ,silver,chocolate ,evil ,Nuisance is the best. We wonder the street to where the worms are the best ,The rabbit made us cross the street. People do say arent we sweet. cameras at the ready the cars all stop and out get the people from up the street. We are the famous girls and pin up boys . Must be googled and posted afar , you would reaconise us by the smile . we are free to wander what a treat the memories we have of cages and barns that scared us and done us harm .The price we pay now of tumors and bugs .All egged out your having a laugh . We feed ourselfs which is more than the no bears , good for not much but weeing in runs and keeping the foxes out of the garden. Not much to say but agood life we have , freedom to all the girls of the same fate.
Quaaker good health to all and peace to the other side of the bridge.
Morning henpals! Sarge Dory Grey (factual investigator) here
First things first - condolences of course to the House of Lily on the loss of Ruby, and we are sending henpal wishes to Marigold and hoping she continues to get better. That is a henpal order Marigold! Also henpal wishes to the two sick girls in the House of Penelope and Red, who also need a good dose of wishes.
Welcome to Quaker, lovely to see a new representative from the House of Penelope and Red joining us. And may I say, we may have a new Special Poetry applicant if that brilliant poem is anything to go by! Corp Casper SPR would be proud to know there's a new henpal picking up her Poetry Mantle
Well lots has been happening here henpals, and that is a fact! We have had a vacuum of leadership, as Chestnut has nearly popped her clogs as the old tophenanall would've said. Well, Chestnut said she was at death's door and to be honest henpals, she was most unlike herself. Letting me and Tiddly eat all the food, not getting rufty-tufty with us. Most unlike Chestnut. And going to bed super douper early! Me and Tiddly would be running round being henpals until at least nine o'clock but Chestnut has been tucking herself up at about six thirty! So when she said she was at death's door we believed her.
This did set alarm bells off for me though henpals. Because you see I have studied loads of case histories and I have discovered, through my factual investigation, that the position of tophenanall is a poisoned chalice! They pretty much always pop their clogs. First Major Remie, then Chestnut... and you see, I had been following Nugget's advice from the Manifesto and cloring my way up the pecking order and had made it to the giddy heights of 002! So when Chestnut was rumbling on about shuffling of the mortal coil, it struck me that I would be tophenanall! Well, I didn't want that henpals - that would be my own death sentence!
Anyway, Chestnut has rallied and actually was never going to pop her clogs unless a chicken can die of moulting. So disaster averted! For now of course, as inevitably she will succumb to the curse of the tophenanall. This does mean that she's back to her usual self of being grouchy and hogging all the best food though.
Levels of discipline are not yet back on full power. Tiddly and I tried our best to maintain standards of important garden clearance duties (the Major left a very comprehensive instruction manual) but it has been hard with only the two of us on active duty, especially when one of us (her, not me obviously!) has the attention span of a fly. Levels of Jasperwatch have dropped to an alarming level and when I say alarming I really do mean it henpals! He has taken to stalking me round the garden and jumping out at me when I am away from my battalion, which is pretty much all the time lately. This is most upsetting! I had to have a stern talk with Tiddly last night as it's her duty as bottomhenanall to Jasperwatch and this morning I'm pleased to say she has been chasing him round the garden. I've lost an ounce of weight with all the stress lately!
We have also discovered why our Intermittent Magic Yellow Ball is intermittent. Jasper keeps attacking it, and probably killing all the magic in it. This is very bad henpals, as the Magic Yellow Ball pops out delicious treats whenever we tap it and roll it around, so we can see Jasper's nefarious plan. It's particularly chilling when he bats the ball between his paws, but stares at me the whole time This is disgraceful and we need a plan to rescue the Magic Yellow Ball!
Tiddly in her role as Official Mums' and Dads' Diary Reader has discovered exciting news henpals! Our mums and dads are planning a special surprise party for us all! They are going to be meeting somewhere and of course there's no point in them meeting up without us, so this must be our special surprise party or maybe even a lovely holiday for us all to go on together! Imagine what we can achieve if we are all together and able to plot the Chicken Revlootion in person! Chestnut has started moulting so she can look her best for the party, she reckons her feathers will be lovely by then. Tiddly said she may consider growing some new head feathers specially for the occasion. I of course am already practically perfect in every way and that's a fact henpals!
I can't top that news, so that's Dory Grey, Factual Investigator, signing off for now Packing my suitcase, loading up my kindle
Karen Alpha chick to: Smudge, Matisse and Bluebell
Chief servant to Marley the cat
Remembering Weeps, Rexie, Sage, Cassie, Toffee, Captain Gabby, Commander Nugget, Ronnie, Juno, Special Poetry and Reading Casper, Tigger, Tophenanall Rembrandt, Chestnut, Tiddly, Willow, Mango, Coco, Dorian Grey and Pokey.
Also my lost furries Charlie and Jasper
Quaker reporting on the loss of two more girls of the Penelope and Red flock . Purple ring -Heart has lost the fight ,died of a heart attack , She was fine at 8.00 am and dead by 11.30... Ring in a bag . and note to add to the list of girls gone before. Tumor the girl that fought so well friend of the green ring . Died while away at the healthy farm..... Green ring says she misses her very much , does not like the rest of us. First night back so beds all clean , positioning of the flock is a scream. Lots of treats and cuddles all round good to be back on familiar ground. Not much more to report from us , We too are packing our bags for the big hen bash. Only us top girls and boys are going I am told so lots of girls pushing for laps. Sad day again for the house of Penelope and Red ,but we left behind will lay some good eggs. Quaker Religious leader of the flock of the Penelope and Red.
Hello Henpals Hello boys Honeybun Pinkerton reporting in First of all we are all very sorry to hear of the houses in the House of Bob, Quaker Dory I agree with you about top and and alls , although I sometimes would like to help Eva along, if only mum would put some candles in our home I could attache some of her feathers to it and stick my beak in! Honestly she is being so beastly to me, lucky I am quick on my feet. I am posting tonight instead of Haze as I am the only one who now sleeps in the cottage, all the others sleep outside except of course the tiny girls . I think I am the smart one, nice bedding and plenty of room to move. Dory this yellow ball thing , well we have two but I am very disappointed to say ours are totally not magic, they are full of mud Perhaps they were magic before my time and they have lost their power? We are all totally excited about meeting one another but less excited in being put in a cardboard box. I know the posh divas wont want to come as they are right scared of us since Dottie(the one that dosent spend all day in bed) got into our run and we all ganged up on her, my did mum shout at us! We are less excited that next week the Ped's daddy will be looking after us, so no lap sitting, watching tv, so kisses and no clean sheets for me! And to top it all the new hen that arrived not only permantely lives up the big house but she is going away with mum. As mum is going a very long way we dont envy her being in a box all that time but it is still an affrontery to fairness in the flock! Over and out tonight henpals Honeybun Planning for a comfortable journey for our PARTY
The Pink Ladies..Audrey,Ingrid-Bergman,Madeleline,Norma-Jean,Dora,Janice,Jo,Robyn,Chrissy and Joyce The Peds…Mork,Mindy,Bell,Saphire &
Vorky ,Blueped,Ginger,Ninger &Linky Sunny Clucker was ere July 12-21 2012
Sunny Clucker was ere July 6 2016 to Sept 9th 2017
Sunny Clucker is here , rehomed Aug 18th 2018/
Hello Henpals Hello Boys My goodness what traumatic times we have been having recently. Mum swans off and leaves us to be attended to by Mr Ped who as some of you may know is not exactly a domestic goddess, or god in this instance. As myself and everyone, except Honeybun who feels she must do proper chickeny things and sleep in the cottage,sleep on the high perch outside it didn;t affect anyones beauty sleep of which Megan(vulture features)needs a lot! Unfortunately it became very warm and those pesky red mitie things took up root in the cottage where we have to go to lay(actually only Honeybun and Violet lay these days ) but we still like to make a show of laying! The prima donnas didn't get the mitie things in their bedroom which is lucky as Lottie has stopped protecting her none existent babies. Duckhouse Cal informed us the Ped house was overrun with them hence they were all sleeping outside on top the duckhouse, even fondant percher Major Millie . Mr Ped then went away too and for a few days we had a lady attend to our needs who has lovely red exposed toes, yum yum. When mum finally came home we were quite pleased she was invaded by the mities as serve her right for abandoning us, she should know she should ALWAYS be at our beck and call. She got her come uppence as she has had to remove all bedding and spray spray spray and put in nice new bedding. On the plus side the spiky things outside our home is abundant with those delicious black berry sweeties which mum has given us plenty Mum was pleased to see us but not happy with Violet's big crop and Gracie's squeaky voice so she bundled them both up the vets. Violet has her old medicine again and Gracie, who has fluid on her lungs has the banana medicine, both are both quite well though thank goodness. Well henpals we are looking forward to our trip very soon to meet one another we are just hoping it will not be as hot as it is at the moment. Over and out tonight Corp Haze The Pink Ladies Hot, bothered but full of blackberries, yum
The Pink Ladies..Audrey,Ingrid-Bergman,Madeleline,Norma-Jean,Dora,Janice,Jo,Robyn,Chrissy and Joyce The Peds…Mork,Mindy,Bell,Saphire &
Vorky ,Blueped,Ginger,Ninger &Linky Sunny Clucker was ere July 12-21 2012
Sunny Clucker was ere July 6 2016 to Sept 9th 2017
Sunny Clucker is here , rehomed Aug 18th 2018/
Pat the cat reporting. You lot talk about chicken revolution, but you know nothing. Babes in arms compared to the ponies that Mo has been looking after while their slaves are on holiday.
Day 1. Pickle wouldn't let her put his headcollar on to lead him out of the stable. Then was a bit difficult about having it taken off again. Just imagine what you could get up too if you were several times heavier than your slaves!! Day 2. Mo was in a hurry letting them out at lunch time so didn't notice that Pickle had pooed in his feed bowl. That might have meant late breakfast on Day 3. but luckily there was a spare bowl. Little did Mo know as she scrubbed Pickles bowl that he had told Scooby Doo the trick he'd played, so she had another to scrub by lunch time. Day 4. Scooby decided not to follow Pickle as he was led into the field. There was longer grass next to the stable. Day 5. Mo thought if she put a headcollar on Scooby too they could be led out together. Did I mention that they are stronger than Mo!!! They were both popping in and out for long enough to worry Mo. Day 6. They pretended not to notice that Mo was getting breakfast ready in the stables until she is wondering if she will have to come down the field and catch them. Then sauntered up very slowly, instead of waiting at the gate as usual.
I must say they are very entertaining (and so are the swallows that nest in the stable ) I did leave a few feathers for Mo to clean up.
Cuddles reporting in , words out 10th Sept 16 secret location yet to be found , big meet. food plenty . fresh grass available,all welcome ,book your seats quick.... More when found out.... Cuddles , Flock of the Penelope and Red .
Evening henpals, Factual Investigator Dory Grey reporting in
Well hello Pat, nice to see you back on the diary! And welcome to a new contributor from the House of Penelope and Red, Cuddles. I have decided to throw caution to the wind and let Tiddly be my wing girl on the diary - now that I am perilously close to being tophenanall (002) I am feeling my own mortality and have decided I need a back up. She says she's too tired to post tonight (cheek!) and frankly she and Chestnut are sulking because of all the preferential treatment I have been getting off mum today. Is it my fault that she is so delighted when I fly up and wobbly perch next to her that she feeds me raisins and not them?
In fact, today's raisins experiment was a marvellous illustration of trickle-down economics in practice. I ate all the raisins, and a few trickled down to chestnut and tiddly. They weren't happy, although I was. Very. I think though, that as an economic system dedicated to the redistribution of wealth (I have read the Chicken Manifesto and done my factual investigation) it might have a few flaws which were best illustrated by the absolute pasting I got off a furious Chestnut when I jumped off the bench.
Chestnut is more stroppy than usual even, because her millions of friends are back but this time they have decided they like Tiddly best. I am hoping they don't like me at all, because quite frankly they don't seem like very good friends to have! Plus she's laying eggs again (we all are ) and mum has just planted things in our favourite greenhouse dustbathing spot and banned us from going in, so all in all Chestnut is very miserable lately
Jasper continues his campaign of terror against me. I have tried recruiting his arch-enemy, Georgie, as some sort of bodyguard but to be honest, Georgie is even more scary than Jasper! He says he'll do it, but he's not sure I'll like the price to be paid... it's all very dark. I'm going to ask Tiddly, because she says she'll do it for extra mealworms. Now that's a price I can afford and that's a fact henpals!
Over and out for now Don't let Chestnut's millions of friends bite!
Dory Grey Desperately gathering spare mealworms
Karen Alpha chick to: Smudge, Matisse and Bluebell
Chief servant to Marley the cat
Remembering Weeps, Rexie, Sage, Cassie, Toffee, Captain Gabby, Commander Nugget, Ronnie, Juno, Special Poetry and Reading Casper, Tigger, Tophenanall Rembrandt, Chestnut, Tiddly, Willow, Mango, Coco, Dorian Grey and Pokey.
Also my lost furries Charlie and Jasper
Hello Henpals Hello Boys Pat not heard from you in awhile, all your kind around here are just really annoying, if they are not climbing up and down our netting they are using our doors as scratch posts. Now I wonder of Dory could get her arch enemy Jasper on here for you to teach him some manners. Hiya Cuddles, we are all so jealous of you and you flock with your boys We have had good and bad times since our mum returned. At least we have housekeeping back so the place smells and looks much nicer and we are all back on treats instead of having to look at the delicious goodies in the big sweet jar that Mr Ped never ever opens. We did all have to suffer the indignatory of ALL being grabbed and sprayed even the Peds had to suffer this torture too. Something to do with the crawlie red things that only seemed to be in the Ped house but what they have done we do and the other way around. Cuddles we are extremely worried we may not be invited the the henpal get together, I mean come on we ARE the henpals. Mind you if our mum takes 2 plus hours to find the place(yep been reading the mums and dads diaries again) we may find the journey very uncomfortable. Personally I didnt enjoy my first trip in mum's car in a cupboard box and that was only a ten minute trip. Maybe we should sort out our very own get together, does anyone have a satty navvy? Tonight we were expecting mum to pop a movie on our phone as she gave us popcorn, it wasn't very nice and after a nibble neither us or the Ped girls ate any, hopefully the giant yucky sluggies will eat it up tonight, and we didn't get a movie, long time since we saw Chicken Run our absolute fav. Yesterday mum spent time putting little objects between the divas section and ours as Dottie and Eva were going bananas jumping up against each other through the wire. Personally I was hoping mum would let them get together, I reckon Dottie would have brought Eva down a peg or too, she is always bossing us about. We are now getting bowlfuls of blackberries, yum yum did you know the Gwen of all hens detested them Not much more to report tonight henpals Corp Haze Pink Ladies Division Saying no to popcorn
The Pink Ladies..Audrey,Ingrid-Bergman,Madeleline,Norma-Jean,Dora,Janice,Jo,Robyn,Chrissy and Joyce The Peds…Mork,Mindy,Bell,Saphire &
Vorky ,Blueped,Ginger,Ninger &Linky Sunny Clucker was ere July 12-21 2012
Sunny Clucker was ere July 6 2016 to Sept 9th 2017
Sunny Clucker is here , rehomed Aug 18th 2018/
This is disgraceful and we need a plan to rescue the Magic Yellow Ball! 
Perhaps they were magic before my time and they have lost their power?
) but we still like to make a show of laying! The prima donnas didn't get the mitie things in their bedroom which is lucky as Lottie has stopped protecting her none existent babies. Duckhouse Cal informed us the Ped house was overrun with them hence they were all sleeping outside on top the duckhouse, even fondant percher Major Millie . Mr Ped then went away too and for a few days we had a lady attend to our needs who has lovely red exposed toes, yum yum. 
) I did leave a few feathers for Mo to clean up.
) and mum has just planted things in our favourite greenhouse dustbathing spot and banned us from going in, so all in all Chestnut is very miserable lately 
