Down the Lane

Ohhhhh dear!!!!!

He saw that coming surely

No eyedea Paddy

maybe he was looking to the future

Why did the policeman stay in bed?




He was an undercover agent.

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

Local police are hunting 'the knitting needle nutter' who has stabbed six people in the a*se in the last 48 hours.

Police belive the attacker is following some kind of pattern.

Just after my wife had given birth, I asked the doctor, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have s.ex?"

He winked at me and said, "Well, I'm off duty in ten minutes - meet me in the car park."

Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue.

"Be Jeysus!" he said, "I didn't even know they had mobile phones!"

The biggest baddest cowboy, The Paper Bag Kid is on the run.


Description:

Boots: paper bags

Trousers: paper bags

Chaps: paper bags

Shirt: paper bags

Weskit: paper bags

Hat: paper bags



Wanted for rustling.

Paddy drove over to EuroDisney and saw a sign saying "Eurodisney Left" so he turned round and went home.

They've stopped selling tropical fruit in Tescos.

It's enough to make a mango crazy.

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I went to a fancy dress party the other night dressed as a loaf of bread.

The birds were all over me!