The Henpals Diary

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bikesandbirdsbob
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Re: The Henpals Diary

Post by bikesandbirdsbob »

Hiyah all , Champ and the collective.
First big meeting last week . Reports of a fox in neighbour hood , orders to the no bear section to be on guard duty. Cat creature keeping the wild birds away with harming . A few signed up members have gone over the bridge with messages for Penelope and Red waiting for replies. Plan on taking it in turns to get in the big coop , spoiled by Mrs Woo who took month to come out. I volunteered to take a turn but my girls objected . Desmond and Jack had terrible disagreement over one of the not so shy sisters and now after a eye missing and a chunk of Desmond`s pride I have taken over the garden , patrolling the fence of the youngsters. Capt. Chaos is keeping Desmond in bottom position .
Long days are wearing me out and no time for a sun bath.
Champ , collective.

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KarenE
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Re: The Henpals Diary

Post by KarenE »

Ello enpals, Tiddly Widdly ere >ch<

Reports of my deemise is bin exageratid an I is not ded. I am owever, feelin my hage a bit an ave slowed down considerably as befits a nenpal of my hadvancin yeers. I am four an a nalf wot is dead dead old in ex batty enpal years an I fink we can all hagree that I as earned my retirehenment. In fact, mum sez I is maybe er most oldest hever enpal, maybe next to Nugget #maysherestinpeace #chikenrevlootion. I fink she should build a statue to me, an put it under the apple tree wiv a big bag of mealworms.

Henyway, mum isen showin hany of the respec that she should, an hinsted as been dunkin me in water loads an then dryin me hoff wiv a magic wind machine wot she points at my delicate botty, can you believe it??

If this wasen bad henuff, she as taken to puttin hall our tasty grub in WATER! We fink she is definly tryin to drown us. Luckily the weather dial as bin set to 'dead melty ot' settins lately an so this nefarious plan of mum's to drown us all as backfired an hinsted she is unknowinly providin us wiv a cool, refreshin snack an sumfin for Pokey to whack er feets into.

Now, it's very quiet on the enpal front so we ope all hother floks is henjoyin the melty ot sun an gettin loads of 'melty chiken' sunbathin in. We is. Even Pokey threw erself down on the floor for a microsecond the ovver day, an Pokey is like wot I was in my younger years - always rushin habout.

Enpal good vibes and wishes are on their way to Mrs Woo, oo we ear needs em lots at the minute >fi< an we spose we should send em to their nobear as well

It's too ot to carry on typin, so I am gonna sign hoff wiv a cheery goodnight

Tiddly Widdly >eas1<
Wonderin why I is so itchy wen I isn't moultin
Karen
Alpha chick to: Dorian Grey, Pokey, Mango, Smudge and Coco
Chief servant to Marley the cat
Remembering Weeps, Rexie, Sage, Cassie, Toffee, Captain Gabby, Commander Nugget, Ronnie, Juno, Special Poetry and Reading Casper, Tigger, Tophenanall Rembrandt, Chestnut, Tiddly and Willow
Also my lost furries Charlie and Jasper
bikesandbirdsbob
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Re: The Henpals Diary

Post by bikesandbirdsbob »

Champ reporting in , It is my turn to be topboyanall in the garden . Desmond has found his courage again and that makes CC bottom free ranger . The new boy is a terror , he is up for a fight with anything . He ain`t having my girls and that is that . Goldie and Moe have nested up together and Goldie is living under Moe`s wing .New girls are learning kitchen raiding ,Rocky is getting special crop rubs . Litalen is getting lots of dried worms by sucking up to He Who Walks Through Doors ./
CC Kept disappearing and coming back with stories of special attention . He said it was my turn next .
Mrs Woo looks bad through the window and we watch her and keep her company , praying (for her treats )
Collective is disjointed due to bad eating habits . looking to get a bed meeting as soon as I get message through to the collective .
Plenty of good treats about .
Champ( Handsome boy of the flock .)
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sandy
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Re: The Henpals Diary

Post by sandy »

Image
Jen Ped here…oops forgot protocol
Hello Henpals )wav( Hello boys +f+
Hiya Champ, we send all our good wishes to your Mrs Woo, perhaps she needs some mystical woos from the Woo Of Wigglesworth , Wiggy?
Gosh we are HOT HOT HOT, luckily we have Aunty Pink well trained filling and refilling our water bowls. We did the pant and got a nice juicy water melon the other day. We had ciy cold sweetcorn too yum!
We do have a huge complaint though and am wondering if any seasoned(not as in salt and pepper) henpals could help us. Our daddy insists in locking us up in the shed on these balmy nights all because of our "hunk" Rocky who insists on telling the world he is up, just because it is before the mugglies are up our Daddy says he will get into trouble! Henpals we have hinted to Aunty Pink and she does leave us with the pop door open but our daddy gets down in the dark and locks us up? We think health and safety should be applied here, we are swooning by the morning , and not over our lad !
Maybe Freda could help?
Jen the hen Ped
off to have a big gulp of water
The Pink Ladies..Audrey,Ingrid-Bergman,Georgia,Madeleline,Norma-Jean,Dora & Janice
The Peds…Suranne,Jennifer,
Vorky ,Blueped,Ginger,Ninger &Linky

Sunny Clucker was ere July 12-21 2012
Sunny Clucker was ere July 6 2016 to Sept 9th 2017
Sunny Clucker is here , rehomed Aug 18th 2018/
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sandy
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Re: The Henpals Diary

Post by sandy »

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Hello henpals )wav( Hiya boys +f+
I have the phoney thingy! Me and my three sisters are fairly new Pink Ladies. We havent really met the others, Audrey moans through the wire and Ronnie tries to tear a chunk out of Charlie, gonna fun when we dont have a wire between us. Apparently we are being wormed so have wormy pellets which we all love so we will not be meeting Audrey and Ronnie just yet. We can see some sort of pigeons living further down in the run, one of them Dottie is very noisy. i miss the pretty girl Fay Wray she used to stand and just look at us, so sad she has gone on a trip and not come back.
We can also see the Peds, they are lazy things up so late in the mornings. They have a funny looking boy that Echo is certain is the 'Nagging' Doubt" ! Hmmmm.
Well the Peds and the Pink Ladies and the pigeons, who I believe are Pink Ladies too think we are all mad. We utterly refuse to eat the yellow balls mum keeps giving us, yuck they taste weird, they look like the bigger yellow ball which we believe is magical? So we are staying well clear.
I shall return here very soon henpals but in much need of some nice cool water now…
Blue
The Pink Ladies..Audrey,Ingrid-Bergman,Georgia,Madeleline,Norma-Jean,Dora & Janice
The Peds…Suranne,Jennifer,
Vorky ,Blueped,Ginger,Ninger &Linky

Sunny Clucker was ere July 12-21 2012
Sunny Clucker was ere July 6 2016 to Sept 9th 2017
Sunny Clucker is here , rehomed Aug 18th 2018/
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KarenE
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Re: The Henpals Diary

Post by KarenE »

The world according to Pokey

Ants are not one of our five a day )gr:
Karen
Alpha chick to: Dorian Grey, Pokey, Mango, Smudge and Coco
Chief servant to Marley the cat
Remembering Weeps, Rexie, Sage, Cassie, Toffee, Captain Gabby, Commander Nugget, Ronnie, Juno, Special Poetry and Reading Casper, Tigger, Tophenanall Rembrandt, Chestnut, Tiddly and Willow
Also my lost furries Charlie and Jasper
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sandy
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Re: The Henpals Diary

Post by sandy »

KarenE wrote:The world according to Pokey

Ants are not one of our five a day )gr:

Say what >coc<
Jen the hen Ped
and the rest of us???????
The Pink Ladies..Audrey,Ingrid-Bergman,Georgia,Madeleline,Norma-Jean,Dora & Janice
The Peds…Suranne,Jennifer,
Vorky ,Blueped,Ginger,Ninger &Linky

Sunny Clucker was ere July 12-21 2012
Sunny Clucker was ere July 6 2016 to Sept 9th 2017
Sunny Clucker is here , rehomed Aug 18th 2018/
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KarenE
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Re: The Henpals Diary

Post by KarenE »

Ello enpals! >ch<

As the only remaining Ginger Ninja in my flock, and because Dory Grey spends all her time preening and trying to make her wig look glamorous, I am taking over enpal duties! And I am taking Tiddly Widdly as my role model (now that I have nicked her position as second in command) for all enpal communications, but with miles better grammar and spelling. I am, after all, a posh bird.

Well the lovely sunbathy sun must be knackered after all these many dry, dry DRY months. We have been going all melty all over the garden at the drop of a hat. I of course, being a posh bird, do it right and get my wings and legs stretched out as far as chickenly possible but Dory Grey can you believe it sunbathes STANDING UP!!! >du< It just doesn't look right enpals.

Even the hooman known as mum joined us in the hot-see-through-snack room (this room is full of delicious snacks AND is brilliant for relaxing dustbaths so I get to be clean and eat healthily at the same time!) for a long preen. I don't know whose feathers she was preening but they weren't ours, or at least Dory thinks a few might have been hers. Rather suspicious that mum has a collection of chicken feathers that she preens. Either she is desperate to be a chicken, or she is a whacko serial killer with a trophy collection. Dory has done intensive factual investigation into the habits of serial killers - especially as I told her that her wig would make a fab serial killer souvenir - and now is scared stiff of her own shadow and especially mum's shadow. Possibly this is why she sunbathes standing up - she must never let her guard down, ever, or her glorious wig will end up in a display case.

The hooman known as mum would probably want to keep one of my eggs as a souvenir if she serial killed me. They are magnificent, much better than Dory Grey's wimpy blue ones. SIZE MATTERS ENPALS!

So ever since Tiddly Widdly's sad demise, there is just the 2 of us in the House of the Revlootion (why is it called that? We're not revlootioning) and we hardly fill the garden at all. It's taking all our energy to keep up the level of poo on the paths. Having read Captain Major Remie's rather badly scrawled notes in the back pages of the Manifesto, I have been getting right stuck in with gardening with the hooman known as mum (HKAM), as apparently this is important for henpals to do. I can't see why; she does all the hard work and I eat the worms, and that's just as it should be. Dory won't come anywhere near when we are doing gardening, as she has noticed the HKAM has a variety of sharp implements. Shocking dereliction of duty, surely this should be part of a tophenanall's job? I'll bide my time, and have a revlootion of my own - I shall revloote myself up to topenanall! I would've done it already except Dory's beak is quite sharp and she can get quite pecky.

Anyway, I have to go now enpals as Dory wants the ipad thingy back - she has to watch some programme called Dexter. She says it's part of her preparation.

And a final observation from the world according to me - my bath is also my kitchen!

Pokey
Full of deep and profound thoughts
Karen
Alpha chick to: Dorian Grey, Pokey, Mango, Smudge and Coco
Chief servant to Marley the cat
Remembering Weeps, Rexie, Sage, Cassie, Toffee, Captain Gabby, Commander Nugget, Ronnie, Juno, Special Poetry and Reading Casper, Tigger, Tophenanall Rembrandt, Chestnut, Tiddly and Willow
Also my lost furries Charlie and Jasper
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sandy
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Re: The Henpals Diary

Post by sandy »

Hello Henpals )wav(
We are the cheeky girls, the bonzai banshees or our favourite name the sparklies!
Yes at last we have apprehended the communication device :b( to you Blue! How dare a newbie uppity upstart use the precious apparatus. We very very cunningly got hold of it when Blue invaded our garden(worthy of any National trust type) Daft mum left our door open and Blue ran in, while Dottie went all ninja on her it fell from under her wing and I grabbed and hid it. I absolutely know Dottie would have won the fight but mum came in and picked up Dottie in one hand and Blue in the other.
We are so very lucky to live in our own quarters, we have a lovely penthouse suite to sleep in, a nice garden where lots of weeds grow which we can reach and of course as fitting our status and because the brambles are really close to our wiring we get first dips on juicy blackberries and the tiny little strawberries.
We used to be able to see our neighbours very well when we lived in the cube area so know them well. It seems the Woo girl , we used to have a Woo girl, the gentle lovely Fay, is STILL broody. We both know all about broody but this is just showing off! She really thinks she is the cats whiskers everytime our mum picks her up the hunk gets all vocal at mum! Really she is just wasted on him when there are us two gorgeous specimens just living nextdoor who are jus the right size for him.Of course read nextdoor as outer Mongolia! We were hoping when the Peds freerange mum would drop us in with them but mum is worried about big Ivy and Nancy and fierce Suranne, honestly Dottie would take them on no problem.
She could take on any of our Ladies too, Audrey may be large but she is a gently girl though at the moment she is a bit under the weather, breathing a bit too hard and she hasnt laid one of her huge eggs for 12 days, I like Audrey very much so I hope she will be okay. Ronnie obviously dosent have much of a bed side manner as for the last two nights she has started sleeping in the cottage leaving Audrey on the perch on her own.
The new girls are all a bit odd, Blue I have spoken about, Delta is funny she runs about dodging Ronnie and Audrey but bosses the other three around. Charlie is very vocal and very strange she totally ignores mealworms! Echo makes funny sounds and is even weirder as she dosent like mealworms! When the girls first arrived they wouldn;t touch sweetcorn but they soon got a taste for it.
Dottie is bigger than me and feisty but I prefer to be what I am a complete diva. I let Dottie deal with any upsets and I let mum manicure my nails, I am sure `i could wear them down myself but why bother when i get pampered?
I am not sure about all these revolutions and plans it all sounds so tiresome. Now I have the device I shall have to backtrack and read what goes on. Would love to know what Honey thought of us.
Must get some beauty sleep now which of course I dont really need….
boys any photos of you for a lady to drool over?
Lotus Blossom aka Lottie
Pink Ladies upmarket division
The Pink Ladies..Audrey,Ingrid-Bergman,Georgia,Madeleline,Norma-Jean,Dora & Janice
The Peds…Suranne,Jennifer,
Vorky ,Blueped,Ginger,Ninger &Linky

Sunny Clucker was ere July 12-21 2012
Sunny Clucker was ere July 6 2016 to Sept 9th 2017
Sunny Clucker is here , rehomed Aug 18th 2018/
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KarenE
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Re: The Henpals Diary

Post by KarenE »

Hello henpals Dory Grey, factual investigator and THAA of the House of the Revlootion here )wav(

MUM DRINKS TEA OUT OF A CUP WITH ME ON IT!!!!!!!

I am the most specialistest chicken in the world and that's a fact henpals!!

Pokey is bright red with envy that she isn't famous and super-special enough to go on mum's dinnerware. Of course there is mention on the other side of the mug - the side that nobody ever sees - about Captain Gabby but the PICTURE IS ME!!! And really that's all that counts.

My status as the most specialistest hen in all the universe means that I must take extra eggstra care of my famous appearance and keep myself in tip top gorgeous supermodel condition so I have decided not to moult this year. Through sheer willpower and the mysterious powers of the Woos I shall keep my feathers firmly stuck in, except the ones that are in a shocking state, and I will moult these ones so sneakily that no-one will even notice.

I am the most specialistest hen in the hentire galaxy and all the other galaxies in the multiverse and I must keep up my appearance. Luckily my magnificent figure lives up to its Woo nature and needs no work on it, as I am a hive of activity all the time, not to mention the amount of brainpower that goes into my many hours of factual investigation.

Pokey is having a right old moan so I better go henpals

Dory Grey
The face of the henpals!
Karen
Alpha chick to: Dorian Grey, Pokey, Mango, Smudge and Coco
Chief servant to Marley the cat
Remembering Weeps, Rexie, Sage, Cassie, Toffee, Captain Gabby, Commander Nugget, Ronnie, Juno, Special Poetry and Reading Casper, Tigger, Tophenanall Rembrandt, Chestnut, Tiddly and Willow
Also my lost furries Charlie and Jasper
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sandy
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Re: The Henpals Diary

Post by sandy »

Hello Henpals )wav(
Hello boys +f+
I have retreived the phone thingy from the diva Lotus Bottom , I have been waiting to read if our neighbiurs were going to communicate i.e. Jen the hen(well we are all hens Jen, except the nagging doubt fluffball) but she seems to be very busy with her two uppity upstarts who I am very pleased to observe are holding their own and being throughour nuisances, me being an uppity upstart myself.
Our news henpals....LB has gone all Woo like, not meaning she has got a wig and a silly quiff of a comb she has actually gone all Woooooooo, meaning she has been walking all airy fairy like. She had one of those (what i thought was exciting) trips out in the box in mum"s moving house. She is on the meds which I hope I dont have to have as it entails mum forcing open your mouth and shoving yucky looking goo down your throat.
Our THAA Ronnie, though she makes me call her Veronica has got a lovely new coat which is lucky as I had to keep well away from her as I couldnt help giggling at her turkey look!
Since we had a woo residing with us and we had to have Ronnie and Audrey in with us they have both decided no longer to perch in their section. This is really annoying as now there are six of us in our pink apartment, lets be honest Audrey is a BIG girl and as I have last choice of a nice spot life is a bit harder especially as mum now insists on shutting our door every night.
I have been having chats over the neighbours fence with fellow UU Bjork who tells me Suranne , her THAA has unearthed tales of the MYstical Silkiebabe who is honoured on Mallow night. I have never had a mallow and am not sure what we will have to do so hoping Dory or the Wiggy of Woosworth or one of you boys +f+ of the House of Penelope and Red will tell this young humble girl what it all entails?
Hens teeth its soooo cramped in here I will finish now, must get some sleep so I am nice and annoyingly bouncy tomorrow
Blue
xxx
The Pink Ladies..Audrey,Ingrid-Bergman,Georgia,Madeleline,Norma-Jean,Dora & Janice
The Peds…Suranne,Jennifer,
Vorky ,Blueped,Ginger,Ninger &Linky

Sunny Clucker was ere July 12-21 2012
Sunny Clucker was ere July 6 2016 to Sept 9th 2017
Sunny Clucker is here , rehomed Aug 18th 2018/
bikesandbirdsbob
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Re: The Henpals Diary

Post by bikesandbirdsbob »

Evil reporting in , Have won the golden ticket , pampered . private , company on demand , protected from danger and the cold. What a life . If I could see farther than the food dish I would tell you what is going on .
reports of my friend Rocky perishing in the night has brought a sad atmosphere
to the garden . Lots of new beaks in garden with all the feathers in place . I am now settling down to my peeled grapes and cabbage , finely shredded to the right size . I am sure the flocks in the garden are ` beaking ` jealous of my place in the big coop , as they are always trying to visit me .
Wishing all a happy spooky evening to come .
Evil , Penelope and Red (one of the few to remember them in life .
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KarenE
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Re: The Henpals Diary

Post by KarenE »

Ello enpals, Pokey here reporting in )wav(

We have survived Mallow Ween night! Dory's intensive factual investigation, following Jen Ens request, revealed that Mallow Ween is a super scary time when hoomans switch off all their normal lights and for some strange reason stick lights in vegetables instead, then small hoomans become scary monsters and run round the BigHoomanCoops and this is the most shocking part enpals - DEMANDING OUR TREATS!!!! Demanding with MENACES!! yike*

It was scary enpals! We could hear woo-woo sounds all night and it wasn't even Dory making them! We peeped through our little window and such a terrifyin sight greeted our eyes, we could barely fall right back to sleep straight away again! Of course the scariest part was knowing that mum and dad might have been forced with MENACES to give away all our delicious treats and the relief the next day when we realised this wasn't true - well, Dory started moulting all over again with sheer delight.

Dory's relief didn't last long though, enpals, as Mum has been kidnapping and serial killing her again all night. Dory says if mum does it again tomorrow night it really will be the last straw. I am well peed off with all this - I want to be kidnapped and serial killed too! Because Dory said that in the middle of all the serial killing trauma, mum was feeding her raisins! I wouldn't mind a bit of mild serial killing if I was hand fed raisins too! {mr.angry} I mean, serial killing is only dunking your foot into a nice warm scented bath.

Dory is such a diva about these things

Anyway, must go enpals. Now that all the evil creatures and scary wavy monsters and lit up vegetables have gone, and Dory is back from her evening's being serial killed, it's time to get some much needed rest!

Pokey
Waiting for my Mallow Ween BigOrangeHead to arrive. Hope mum has taken the candles out!
Karen
Alpha chick to: Dorian Grey, Pokey, Mango, Smudge and Coco
Chief servant to Marley the cat
Remembering Weeps, Rexie, Sage, Cassie, Toffee, Captain Gabby, Commander Nugget, Ronnie, Juno, Special Poetry and Reading Casper, Tigger, Tophenanall Rembrandt, Chestnut, Tiddly and Willow
Also my lost furries Charlie and Jasper
bikesandbirdsbob
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Re: The Henpals Diary

Post by bikesandbirdsbob »

Evil reporting in , Please advise who is winning the war . Fighting breaking out with mighty explosions since Friday treat day . Worried about the friends in the coops. The furry friends in the big coop are hiding under the tables and chairs . I think they want to get in with me.
Have you started the revolution with us .
Evil , Penelope and Red revolutionist in the cooperative.
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sandy
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Re: The Henpals Diary

Post by sandy »

Hello Henpal )wav(
Hello boys +f+
Mallow night was a lot of loud banging which is no different to any other night as we have massive towers and huge so long electriccy wormies being put behind our house.
Evil , Pokey we have heard your daddy and mummy are coming to see ME this is sooo exciting. Audrey has decided she wants to go back with your mummy as she misses her Fay and reckons Dory will be a good substitute, i have told her there is a certain Rita nextdoor but she reckons Rita is too chavvy for her refineness. Delta , and Rita for that matter are planning to pack their bags, with what i have no idea, a clawful of pellets?and are expecting to hitch a ride with your daddy Evil cause you have boys! Rita has lost all interest in Rocky , we know she has been overlooked by the young and very pretty Vorky, and has set her sights on some real men.
Me i think i will stay here, it is a challenge living with 5 hens being the end girl without dodging 40 odd yike* mind you there are only 2 of you Dory and Pokey, hmmm maybe i will start packing....
Blue
The Pink Ladies
The Pink Ladies..Audrey,Ingrid-Bergman,Georgia,Madeleline,Norma-Jean,Dora & Janice
The Peds…Suranne,Jennifer,
Vorky ,Blueped,Ginger,Ninger &Linky

Sunny Clucker was ere July 12-21 2012
Sunny Clucker was ere July 6 2016 to Sept 9th 2017
Sunny Clucker is here , rehomed Aug 18th 2018/

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