The Henpals Diary

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KarenE
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Re: My Diary…Gwen (the hen)

Post by KarenE »

Hello non human everybodies! )wav(

Gwen X Hen - my, Beryl is a bit fierce, isn't she? That's what happens when you have positions of responsibility I suppose. Nugget is a bit hacked off at being called flaky. She says Beryl is off her christmas card list, which is quite a surprise cos I didn't know she had one. I didn't know she could write, to be honest - she isn't as intellectual as what we are. She's more a beaks-on pecky kind of girl, whereas I am a dreamer and thinker, and you are clearly a cut above in chicken IQ terms. Toffee is just an egg laying and poo making machine. She is like the Terminator, only a chicken.

Spike and Pat - how marvellous! Gorgeous cats! We have a lovely big brother cat called Jasper who sometimes comes and lives in our coop with us. He can be a bit scary as he whizzes round the garden, and he used to creep up and jump out on us but he doesn't do that any more since Nugget attacked him under dad's legs. Will you be transmitting messages from Blondie Bombshell and the crew? We need help with the Sweetcorn Liberation Front.

(Mind you, Gwen X Hen - spike is a bit flirty eh? What is going on there? I think he fancies you. +f+ )

Pat - the secret to a clean erm.. egg is straw. It's very good for having a little wipe afterwards! )sh

Wiggy Woo - woo hoo! More henpals!

Wiggy, your mum should get a big pink bin and then she should write 'poop' on it in really big letters, then draw massive hearts all over it! I hear it's all the rage in some flocks.

Wiggy - what is 'on strike'?

Ginger wants 30% of our treat ration in payment for her brain services? Toffee (who is the only one of my flock who can count past four) has worked out that means twelvty-six corn each. Ginger's a clever girl. She'll go far. But she's not getting that corn off Nugget, no way. Nobody gets in between Nugget and her treats!

I have to go now and bother mum for mealworms. She's been very lax today with our important nutritional treats.

Yours hungrily

Gabby
Karen
Alpha chick to: Smudge, Matisse and Bluebell
Chief servant to Marley the cat
Remembering Weeps, Rexie, Sage, Cassie, Toffee, Captain Gabby, Commander Nugget, Ronnie, Juno, Special Poetry and Reading Casper, Tigger, Tophenanall Rembrandt, Chestnut, Tiddly, Willow, Mango, Coco, Dorian Grey and Pokey.
Also my lost furries Charlie and Jasper

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KarenE
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Re: My Diary…Gwen (the hen)

Post by KarenE »

Important nutritional treat update: grapes. What is that all about, Gwen Hen? Big green balls of water, not a mealworm or a bit of corn in sight. And needless to say - no defrosted sweetcorn. I turned my beak up at them.

Grapes? What a liberty.

With much disappointment

Gabby
Karen
Alpha chick to: Smudge, Matisse and Bluebell
Chief servant to Marley the cat
Remembering Weeps, Rexie, Sage, Cassie, Toffee, Captain Gabby, Commander Nugget, Ronnie, Juno, Special Poetry and Reading Casper, Tigger, Tophenanall Rembrandt, Chestnut, Tiddly, Willow, Mango, Coco, Dorian Grey and Pokey.
Also my lost furries Charlie and Jasper
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HenPen
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Re: My Diary…Gwen (the hen)

Post by HenPen »

Aha, Gabby, it appears we have a treat sharing solution. You see I am Queen of Fruit. All types but particularly grapes. I am mistress of stealing fruit away at top speed to eat it in a quiet corner, squawking in a muffled way through a full beak to warn other naughty hens to back off. Fruit, dear hen pals, is my thing - so I'll take all the grapes (apples, pears, tomatoes...) off you in payment for any thinking type stuff, and we will call that square.
Ginger xx

PS Wiggy says being on strike is pretty much the same as those days when she can't be bothered to lay one of her seriously odd blue eggs - but just for much, much longer. The whole of the Winter I reckon. Lazy fluff ball. The rest of us are all still egging away, although Miranda is leaving her laying until after lunch.

PPS "Can't type" my fluffy knickers. I just prefer to dictate. I am, after all, second hen and therefore deputy dictator.
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sandy
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Re: My Diary…Gwen (the hen)

Post by sandy »

Hello fellow hennies )wav( and fluffly ones with claws and thumbs?
Yes it is Gwen, please accept my apologies for any offence my sister Beryl has afforded you Pat and Spike :oops: Girls we need to welcome these wonderful fluffly ones on board, especially you girls who are deprived of any communication apparatus.
The Pink Ladies..Audrey,Ingrid-Bergman,Madeleline,Norma-Jean,Dora,Janice,Jo,Robyn,Chrissy and Joyce
The Peds…Mork,Mindy,Bell,Saphire &
Vorky ,Blueped,Ginger,Ninger &Linky

Sunny Clucker was ere July 12-21 2012
Sunny Clucker was ere July 6 2016 to Sept 9th 2017
Sunny Clucker is here , rehomed Aug 18th 2018/
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sandy
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Re: My Diary…Gwen (the hen)

Post by sandy »

ooh I am sorry, I pushed submit >dum< I blame Beryl, I have told her mum said it is MY phone, I reckon she pushed submit with the toe, anyway back to business, yeehaw Gabby lots of new friends to join us )t' Hello Ginger, I don't wish to be rude but one of my elder sisters Deirdre(aka Deedee Mahoney) has 100 pc brains, besides our first mission is at Gabby's house so Gabby,Toffee and Nugget will be taking all the risks. That of course is our main objective but we may also consider how to deal with obtaining better conditions in our own back yards. Treats are an obvious priority, but any other niggles we may have this is the forum to vent them on and bounce ideas off of one another. Okay I will admit I am asking posh bird, Georgina what words to use as I am only little and she wants to make sure we reach out to the more intelligent(who be they {rofwl} ) of us.
Okay girls, I am some funny news, Ruby and Beryl are in a very bad mood, mum couldn't tell the difference between then this morning. She would never have that problem with me and anyone else, I mean who could be as stunning as me? Georgie says no one would confuse me with anyone as I am the dumpy one, huh! Gabby I cannot believe you don't like grapes? Have they got pippy things in? MUm gives us ones without them in which is a shame because I love pips and seeds. We did get a big bowl of cooked potatoes with their skins on again, honestly we had to share them with the neighbours, mum falls for their pleading looks every time. Mum put the bowl down and we all grabbed one out and ran off with it, except of course Georgina who waited like the lady she thinks she is and then she had hers. I have to admit, grudgingly mind you, Beth is straight in before anyone, she certainly is a brave one! If we ever need anyone to sacrifice themselves on any manouvres she will be the one we can use! You see I have been doing her good, if I didn't chase her around she wouldn't be so fit! Yawn, must turn in now looking forward to hearing from you all,,
Nite nite Gabby,Nugget,Toffee,Pat,Spike,Ginger,Scarlet,Blondie,Sasha,Sorrel and the wiggly Wiggy xxxxx
Gwen(the hen) ((007))
The Pink Ladies..Audrey,Ingrid-Bergman,Madeleline,Norma-Jean,Dora,Janice,Jo,Robyn,Chrissy and Joyce
The Peds…Mork,Mindy,Bell,Saphire &
Vorky ,Blueped,Ginger,Ninger &Linky

Sunny Clucker was ere July 12-21 2012
Sunny Clucker was ere July 6 2016 to Sept 9th 2017
Sunny Clucker is here , rehomed Aug 18th 2018/
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KarenE
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Re: My Diary…Gwen (the hen)

Post by KarenE »

Hello everybodies )wav(

They were grapes without pips in Gwen Hen. Nugget and Toffee gobbled them up straight away but I have more discerning tastes. Potatoes sound scrummy! How do you get your mum to give you all these lovely treats?

Nugget is intrigued by this 'strike' concept. She says it has possibilities and could come in very handy, especially if the chicken revolution doesn't quite get off the ground. She has asked whether some of the more cleverer girls out there can have a think about how we could use it to best further our aims. Of which, I'm not sure we are clear but definitely more better treats has got to be one.

Ginger (Queen of Fruits) and Deirdre, I'm not sure how we could pay you for your Intelligence Services so Nugget said can you be our Secret Intelligence Corps and have a think about how we could get grapes and things to you, given that we probably can't pay for stamps with pellets. Do you use Payhen?

Nugget has declared straight away that she is 'on strike' now and has had a right strop at me and Toffee today as we have been egging like good girls. Mine was only tiddly and a bit thin but better that than nothing at all, like naughty Nugget!

)hlp> The treat situation here is going from bad to worse. Nothing today. NOTHING! Dad has hurt his leg so couldn't sneak out to give us forbidden delicious treats and mum disappeared all day doing shopping (and didn't buy us anything!! yike* ). The situation is getting very desperate, so we all think we need to bring forward Operation Sweetcorn Liberation.

We need a plan, girls! It's in all our interests - It Could Be You Next!

Captain Gabby
Sweetcorn Liberation Front
Karen
Alpha chick to: Smudge, Matisse and Bluebell
Chief servant to Marley the cat
Remembering Weeps, Rexie, Sage, Cassie, Toffee, Captain Gabby, Commander Nugget, Ronnie, Juno, Special Poetry and Reading Casper, Tigger, Tophenanall Rembrandt, Chestnut, Tiddly, Willow, Mango, Coco, Dorian Grey and Pokey.
Also my lost furries Charlie and Jasper
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sandy
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Re: My Diary…Gwen (the hen)

Post by sandy »

Hello Captain Gabby )wav(
I saw you today! You looked like you were on a mission? Toffee looked like she was looking for something in your greenhouse(it dosent look green to me, green is the colour grass is isn't it?)was it really a dandelion plant, yuk yuk yuk I hate them, wont touch them. I cannot believe you were deprived of treats yike* We had grapes again today, green and black ones AND a giant egg. There were two yolks in it when mum smashed it to the ground for us. I wasn't sure us going on an egg strike would help as mum gave us this one, but I do think it was because the shell was very very fine. Then when she addressed us all at morning call(so boring we just want our food, she thinks we gather around her to say morning) she said she had orders for 48 eggs by friday! Honestly , four of my sisters are dropping feathers so the best we can do is only 7 eggs per day, two of which we have to put in nextdoors nestbox as we said they could have the eggs if they gave up the fight to have Olive and Beryl from the other neighbours, and then we have someone(ok it was me) laying a delicate shelled egg. I have informed one member of the SIC of the planned strike at what an opportune time to initiate it, I will add a note for the other elite member later.
While I was waiting to climb the stairs to bed,George just stood like a dummy on the middles step for AGES, pecking, chewing, electric wires? Aha what if the freezer defrosted? I know long wormy things make it cold, we had wormy things put in our house to make the lights go on and the wise one amongst us(sadly now in the Elysian fields) said big thick wormy things made it hot, cold and light, hmm reminds me of my previous home, so what if you,Toffee and Nugget find the wormy things where the sweetcorn is hiding? Gabby only look for them DO NOT attempt any tactics until I have discussed this with Deedee and Ginger, I think we need Spike and Pat in on this strategy too, after all they do actually live in the big houses. I really must have a group meeting with my sisters, Dee is moulting but getting less cranky, Beryl is militant already I am wondering if I ought to approach Psycho Olive hmmm . Oh Gabby I do hope you had something nice today?
I shall sign out for now..
yours Gwen, the Hen (007)

Ginger we need your input , please respond ……...
The Pink Ladies..Audrey,Ingrid-Bergman,Madeleline,Norma-Jean,Dora,Janice,Jo,Robyn,Chrissy and Joyce
The Peds…Mork,Mindy,Bell,Saphire &
Vorky ,Blueped,Ginger,Ninger &Linky

Sunny Clucker was ere July 12-21 2012
Sunny Clucker was ere July 6 2016 to Sept 9th 2017
Sunny Clucker is here , rehomed Aug 18th 2018/
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Mo
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Re: My Diary…Gwen (the hen)

Post by Mo »

Pat here.
I think I would be careful of those worm things. I've been threatened with being a barbequed cat if I claw them. They are tempting though.
I'm not sure that you ought to strike - you are quite well treated I think. I've often read on here that pellets are all a hen needs.
Personally dried food is all I will eat, if Mo puts scraps on my plate I show her what I think of being given left-over rubbish. (If it is on a human plate or hen-tub it's different of course)

If you were really being ill treated or threatened I would suggest you read the book I saw on Mo's screen Foxbusters and do what they did. Lay your eggs hard-boiled from a height as missiles. If you just want to be annoying you could just lay them from the perch or peck them. Broken eggs make humans mad. But be careful, some owners get so annoyed that they read books that tell them to (I can't say it, I'll have to spell it) c....u....l....l.

When I want attention I just scratch at something. That gets Mo out of her chair, I think she so likes having things decorated that she gets up to reward me. Let that be a moral - treat your mistress well and she will give you treats.
Just off to catch Mo a rabbit, ... or shall I eat it myself and just leave her the tail on the doorstep?
Dance caller. http://mo-dance-caller.blogspot.co.uk/p/what-i-do.html
Sunny Clucker enjoyed Folk music and song in mid-Cheshire
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HenPen
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Re: My Diary…Gwen (the hen)

Post by HenPen »

Hi all, Private Wiggy Woo reporting for typing duty.

Capt Ginger says she would not recommend the wormy things as apparently being crispy fried is no fun at all. In the battle for more treats, she has asked around and she and Cupid suggest a charm offensive - mugging the humans and looking cute with lots of grass round your mouth is apparently an option.

Amber suggests just being offensive, actually mugging the humans, trying to rip off bits of shoes (shoe laces are an easy target) and toggles from coats. And then next time perhaps they will think to come prepared with something to soothe the savage beasts. And if they don't, then eyeballs look tasty. >dowhat< She could give Olive a run for her money on the psycho front, I 'spect.

Miranda says she isn't talking to humans at all. She would rather go without than lower herself to that level. But shhhhhhh this is a lie, actually, because she definitely wouldn't rather go without.

My plan of going on strike isn't really achieving anything. Sigh. I am a bird of very little brain and not sure I can think of anything else.

Anyway must go as I can see the human with the poo bin and a bowl of something.

Pat, can you come and get rid of our rabbits? They are very frightening and have huge teeth. I am frightened of them.
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lancashire lass
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Re: My Diary…Gwen (the hen)

Post by lancashire lass »

)wav( )wav( My name is Ginger and I'm one of the Spice Girls, you must know our song:

"Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
Really, really wanna zigaziga"


Posh, Baby and Scary live here with me but none of them like me very much. I thought Baby was my friend until she started laying eggs before I did and now she thinks she's one of the big girls but those other 2 don't like her very much either. She's so stuck up, I can't bear being with her anymore. Posh is alright for a leader I suppose - she ignores me for the most part except if I get between her and her food, and then she gives me one heck of a "get out of my way" peck. At the moment she is sporting a patchy bare bum where Scary ate all her downy feathers ... she waited until Posh fell asleep on the perch, then she carefully pulled the feathers out. Our mam was none too happy about that, and we all ended up having some nasty tasting spray squirted under our tails and round our necks. Scary is just demented and so mean to everyone but now and again she oversteps the mark and gets a beak butt off Posh to put her in her place. I think she only ate Posh's bum feathers to make her look silly. It must be a tad cold and draughty under that tail at the moment.

Anyway, we've been reading about these frozen sweetcorn. We have a cunning plan to rush out the door in all directions when mum comes to see us and whoever gets to the house first will go and investigate this freezer thing. Alas, stupid Scary forgets the plan and rushes out to start eating the leaves that are on the ground and I have to go and snatch the leaf out of her beak to remind her ... but then I can't help eating it. Mam doesn't chase us back into the run any more so it should be do-able to put our plan into practice but then she drops some tasty treats into run and Scary runs back in so fast, I have to run ahead of her to get out of the way. While we are all tucking into the treat, the door is closed behind us ..... humph.

If I can think of anything else, I'll let you know. Signing off ... Ginger Spice >ch<
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sandy
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Re: My Diary…Gwen (the hen)

Post by sandy »

Hello everyone, Gwen here )wav(
Gabby please DO NOT action plan A, repeat DO NOT action plan A, plan A is now firmly in the )loo( . Pat I am so glad Beryl did not offend you enough to put you off my diary. Gabby.Nugget and Toffee the big worms are DANGEROUS yike* I have advised my party of the SIC, Deirdre Mahoney and now advice you Capt. Ginger (as the only other member) we now need a plan C,um is C after A?
On social bok boking news whoa we now have another Ginger, Ginger Spice along with her sisters, girls did you know there is a tuesday music night, perhaps you cold compile a video to play on there? I am getting jealous that all you girls have recruited your sisters in our 'mission', which we have abandoned but we will have to have another one! Beryl is still a bit cranky, Ruby under the weather(good I am getting a rest from her bossiness) Iris is a loopfruit, hmm I shall have to think about this very seriously tomorrow, naturally Georgina knows of my diary being an intellect, huh! I do love that Scary ate Posh's downy feathers. I know exactly how she feels(I can manage on my own now Georgie) Georgie sounds just like Posh, honestly she acts like a right diva. I would peck out her feathers but she is taller and stronger than me and besides I like the taste of Beths +f+
Hello Private Wiggy(my mum loves you) can we help you with the ravenous rabbit of Antioch? Pat is going to be the best tactical advisor on this, maybe she could do what she said humans do to us, but wouldn't that be defeating the object? Why would you call them? I must get my girls to help out on here, Elsa can offer Amber advice how how to sucessfully peck an eyeball(a human one of course) Scary and Olive can compare notes on physchotic behaviour and Miranda,Posh and Georgina can swap beauty tips?
Okay fellow conspirators, this agent is beginning to doze….
Sleep well all and we will rendezvous for further developments
Gwen, the hen (007)
xxx
The Pink Ladies..Audrey,Ingrid-Bergman,Madeleline,Norma-Jean,Dora,Janice,Jo,Robyn,Chrissy and Joyce
The Peds…Mork,Mindy,Bell,Saphire &
Vorky ,Blueped,Ginger,Ninger &Linky

Sunny Clucker was ere July 12-21 2012
Sunny Clucker was ere July 6 2016 to Sept 9th 2017
Sunny Clucker is here , rehomed Aug 18th 2018/
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Mo
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Re: My Diary…Gwen (the hen)

Post by Mo »

Pat here.
My tactics with rabbits are a trade secret. I will say that I try not to let them get big enough to be scary.
I gave Mo a fright a few years back when we had neighbours who had pet rabbits. I knew that the white powder-puff that I left on the doorstep was not a beloved pet. Mo didn't know whether to own up for me, or not, but she found out that when the beloved pet's babies were too big for the coop the owner waved them goodbye and told them to enjoy life in the fields. I expect they did - for a while - haha.
Dance caller. http://mo-dance-caller.blogspot.co.uk/p/what-i-do.html
Sunny Clucker enjoyed Folk music and song in mid-Cheshire
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sandy
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Re: My Diary…Gwen (the hen)

Post by sandy »

Hi Gwen reporting in….
Oh Pat, you are a right panther aren't you. I take it you have no liking for Thumper,Bugs and Peter then?
Gabby I think you and Nugget and Toffee may have to work out a plan between for Operation Sweetcorn, of course you could send us the plans from your house to the Freezer and we could pass them onto the SIC girls?
We had a few handful of mealworms today, apparently we will not be getting any treats from saturday. To quote Georgina, we are having our dignity compromised by being wormed yike* I get really confused by this, if we cannot have worms why does mum pick up stones for us to eat them >coc< Deirdre has a bit of a hard crop so had a massage, at least she dosen't scream like wimpy Ruby did.
I am afraid I layed an egg again today, mine is the only one mum's knows is mine. I was going to strike but it hurts if I don't give into the urge and I don;t want to end up in hospital like Janet who had two eggs in her and had to be induced,ouch! I haven't discussed plans with my sisters yet probably because I am not sure what action we have all voted on yet. Mum was happy this morning because she needed 8 eggs, well we managed 7 between us but some dozy girl is laying on the rungs so the shell chips(good plan really because we get it! I know you all like to look at photos of me so I will not disappoint you..
Image
Image
Image
Image
I have been a very good girl today, so good mum gave me a ride in her arms as my little legs were tired +f+
I do have a worry, a lot of humans have been saying they are having a turkey for christmas, I hope we dont, and mean where will it sleep?
Signing out
Gwen X the hen (007)
The Pink Ladies..Audrey,Ingrid-Bergman,Madeleline,Norma-Jean,Dora,Janice,Jo,Robyn,Chrissy and Joyce
The Peds…Mork,Mindy,Bell,Saphire &
Vorky ,Blueped,Ginger,Ninger &Linky

Sunny Clucker was ere July 12-21 2012
Sunny Clucker was ere July 6 2016 to Sept 9th 2017
Sunny Clucker is here , rehomed Aug 18th 2018/
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sandy
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Re: My Diary…Gwen (the hen)

Post by sandy »

Oh I am dozy P S The shot of me with my head bowed is showing I have feathers growing on my bald patch on my neck )t'
The Pink Ladies..Audrey,Ingrid-Bergman,Madeleline,Norma-Jean,Dora,Janice,Jo,Robyn,Chrissy and Joyce
The Peds…Mork,Mindy,Bell,Saphire &
Vorky ,Blueped,Ginger,Ninger &Linky

Sunny Clucker was ere July 12-21 2012
Sunny Clucker was ere July 6 2016 to Sept 9th 2017
Sunny Clucker is here , rehomed Aug 18th 2018/
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lancashire lass
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Re: My Diary…Gwen (the hen)

Post by lancashire lass »

Ginger Spice reporting in - lovely photos of you Gwen as always )t' And oh thanks for the tip about Tuesday music night - we've been rehearsing a lot recently and will try to compile a video.

I've got news about Operation Sweetcorn everyone - apparently there's a chicken already in the freezer! Must find out how she got in. Our mam is saving her for Christmas dinner so not only does she get all the frozen sweetcorn but treated to dinner as well. This Christmas dinner seems so unfair - sometimes when Scary is being particularly brutish to us, mam tells her she might end up as Christmas dinner too if she doesn't behave. That doesn't seem right that she should get rewarded for being mean to us )gr: but I suppose we do need an insider to find out how the other chicken got into the freezer - so I guess this is Plan C or F or whatever? Maybe that turkey you are having has been naughty too? And apparently there'll be pigs in blankets there too - they must be right wimps.

Oh, and we might be being wormed soon too ... but I didn't know there would be no treats yike* We were just told that we would be getting some special food when the other bag is empty - maybe we should stop eating the pellets and then it will last longer? If Posh doesn't get her cabbage, she can get really cranky and I won't mention what Scary might get up to ...

Better go now - mam will be here soon to give us our breakfast and make our coop nice and clean. Baby as usual has already layed an egg - show off.

Signing off - Ginger Spice >ch<

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