cat cat, cat cat, I love you

[4 french hens]

If you have a cat or dog, you'll probably relate to this!

1.Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your arm as if holding a baby.
Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cats mouth and gentle apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand.
As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth.
Allow cat to close mouth and swallow .

2.Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3.Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4.Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand.
Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger.
Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5.Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6.Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws.
Ignore low growls emitted by cat.
Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth.
Drop pill down ruler and rub cats throat vigorously.

7.Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.
Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains.
Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from the hearth and set to one side for glueing later.

8.Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible below armpit.
Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9.Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away.
Apply band-aid to spouses forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10.Retrieve cat from neighbours shed.
Get another pill.
Open another beer.
Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing.
Force mouth open with dessert spoon.
Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11.Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.
Drink beer.
Fetch bottle of scotch.
Pour shot, drink.
Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab.
Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect.
Toss back another shot.
Throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12.Ring fire brigade to retrieve the ******* cat from a tree across the road.
Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.
Take last pill from foil wrap.

13.Tie the little b*****d's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed.
Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak.
Be rough about it.
Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14.Consume remainder of scotch.


Mike

[4 french hens]

Oh, I headlined this :-

Pu**y cat, Pu**y cat, but the naughty words filter altered it.

Ho Hum.

Mike

[Julia]

LOL That was great!!!!

I have a trick with my cats.

You take three peices of cheese (or any favorite soft snack - raw minced beef works well too).

Put the pill in the second one.

give the first piece to the cat - cat get's excited and thinks yum and looks hoefully for the next bit.

Give the second peice with the pill in to the cat and as soon as it's in his mouth give him the third peice so he swallows the second peice with out chewing to get more.

I've had a lot of success with this method but if it fails I'm back to the usual pantomime.

[p.penn]

Ha HaHa

Yes, I remember trying to give my cats pills!!!!

Helen

[Lilo-Lil]

Sounds a familiar story in this house too.

I have lost so many pills in my time, (with the dog eating his fair share when they land on the floor) that I resort to the old "wrap cat tightly in tea-towel with only head showing" trick.

Only works if you are prepared in advance, and have all the time in the world!

In my experience, the chance of the tablet being adminsitered first time is directly inversely related to how important it is, and how much of a hurry you are in.

[jo68]

ive learnt to wrap the cats too but they arent daft they see me with the tea towel and theyre off



jo x

[Mad Chick]

SO TRUE!!

We have resorted to buying extremely expensive spot on stuff from the vet that does fleas AND worms because I cannot cope with the tablets I'm dreading the day when I have to give our cat tablets because of an illness. I think I'll head straight for number 14 (the scotch) and let hubby sort out the cat!

Lucy x

[chickenchaser]

LOL

I scruff my cats.

It renders them immobile, then gently push bottom jaw down with finger and pop the pill into the back of the throat. Close mouth and massage throat until swallowed.

I only let go when the cat has swallowed and usually the pill has gone.

I think it triggers the same reaction as their mum picking them up when they are kittens.

Of course, if they know I have pills to give them, I don't see them for hours so I never do one cat while the other is in the room.

[seahorse]

With felix now , I use a combined wormer/flea spot on dropper. It works a treat with out all the dangers of the usual pill popping dramas.

[4 french hens]

For Chickenchaser.

Could not possibly scruff our moggy as 8.5 kilos and would have to hold over 3 feet high to clear the ground. Plus he looks as soppy as hell, but he really is a strong brute. I seen him hang on a fence top rail and simply pull himself up without using his back legs at all!

On top of that hes has razor sharp claws that he is definatley not scared to use.

Mike

[ma larkin]

HA!HA!HA! Fatastic

Just a little tickle under the chin would have done it. Works with Chickens too...

You just wanted a good excuse to drink beer and whisky I should say!

[lou]

(f+ LOL

I scruff my cats.

It renders them immobile, then gently push bottom jaw down with finger and pop the pill into the back of the throat. Close mouth and massage throat until swallowed.

I only let go when the cat has swallowed and usually the pill has gone.

I think it triggers the same reaction as their mum picking them up when they are kittens.

I do that - my vet showed me how