Depression

[Scooby88]

I hate it. My mother, grandmother and myself all suffer from depression. My mum has coped so well over the last few years, no meds and only the odd 'down' day. The past week though she has been going rapidly down hill. I called her from work yesterday. She wasnt making sense, didnt know what day it was, couldnt remember eating or going to work. She said she was fine, just 'drank too much tea.' I rushed home, scared at what I was going to find. I made her a docs apt and they gave her medication. Today she is still the same.

It is so heartbreaking, and as I suffer too, Im scared this whole episode could set me off. Ive been tearful all day just thinking about her.

Does anyone else have a family member who suffers? How do you cope? I dont live with my mum but we are very close. I dont like seeing her like this, but I cant not go round as she needs me, even if seeing her that way upsets me, I have to try and be strong. Depression is such a horrible thing..

[Lillia]

I'm sorry for you and for your mom.
Did the Dr. check your mom's thyroid?
I suffered like this and my Dr. would not listen to me. I did my own research, based on my symptoms, and found what tests (bloodwork) I needed, wrote it down and insisted my Dr. run the tests.
He actually said " If you have a bad thyroid, I would know, but sure, we'll run the tests".
2 days later he called me and apologized. My T-levels were so bad I had to go to a specialist right away. The specialist told me if I hadn't come in I could have gone into a coma. I'm not telling you this to scare you but to make you aware that Dr.s don't always know what's going on and they are most certainly not always right! Have it checked out and good luck to you.

Keep in mind too, that winter can bring on the blues, and more severely to those already prone to depression~

[Annie]

I don't think there are many people who haven't suffered with depression or had a close family member/friend who suffered. Its not a rare thing, which is why it so important that this illness is really discussed openly and not treated like a hidden thing - still stigma attached which is ridiculous.
Make sure Mum takes her medication and does not stop just because she starts to feel better , it takes time to really give benefit. If she is mobile, try to find the time to get her outside the benefit of fresh air is underestimated. The person I am thinking of , close to me, was advised by her Dr to walk for at least 15 mins daily - it didn't cure but it helped. An effort has to be made some days but try to keep it up.
Both you and Mum I hope will get through this sooner , rather than later

[Scooby88]

Thank you. Its funny you should say about walking, as she is out on a walk right now with her friend and the dogs. I believe it helps. Depression isnt spoken about as much as it should be, people dont seem to understand the seriousness of it unless they, or a family member have experienced it. It is so common, and you find that out as you begin to speak with people. I get scared when everything seems to be going so well, which it is at the minute. As I know i could be bobbing along enjoying life, and out of nowhere my mood will tumble, always when I least expect it. Its so hard to know what to say for the best, especially as mums a woman who doesnt like any fuss. We'll get there, I just cant help looking at her thinking, your not my mum, can I have my mum back please.

[MissEllie]

The good thing is you have insight into this and know when you're beginning to feel unwell. Well done for being so open about it, I agree with Annie that setting small goals like going out for a walk every day is an important part of coping/recovering from an episode whilst the meds are beginning to take effect.
It's all too easy to ignore the signs and shut yourself away but it's the worst thing to do. Really hope your mum is on the mend soon, it's so distressing to see a loved one going through this illness but make sure you're looking after yourself too.

[madmum]

Depression is a cruel illness !!!My mother suffers badly,in fact we all moved in together because of it,(worst thing we ever did but that's another story)It has turned her into a different person and sadly not one i like or respect any more.It is one of the hardest things to live with,both hubbs and i have suffered in the last 5 years and i had post natal depression with both my children.Don't be scared of seeking advice and help and be aware of your own moods and feelings.Medicines are a great help and are carefully prescribed and taking them need not worry you as long as you are made aware of possible side effects and changes you may experience.

[Steve the Gas]

I couldn't fathom this before, prolly never thort of it, when younger.
But I have known others go thru this and I believe talking it out helps.
I'm still learning....

[Annie]

I will say that I get totally fed up with folk who say lightly 'Oh I am depressed' when actually they are more likely fed up, bored , stuck in a rut etc etc. Reading here its plain that many of us have the experience of true depression and we all know how awful it really is - and going on a shopping spree does not fix it

[LittleBrownFrog]

I thoroughly recommend getting hold of a copy of 'The Mood Cure' by Julia Ross

[Hilly Bean]

I'm a fellow sufferer as well Scooby, it's really horrible having it looming over you, probably why it is also referred to as the black dog. I find myself feeling very blank about things, a classic sign of depression. Lillia, I often wonder about thyroid problems, but like you say, last time I visited the doctor and I mentioned it they just said oh we have already tested for that. I can't remember what it is like to feel well and that is very depressing in itself.

[Scooby88]

Thanks for the replies. Annie I know exactly what you mean and shopping certainly doesnt fix it, oh how I wish it was that easy. LBF thanks for the reccomendation. Ive googled and they do a dvd too, its worth a shot.
I went to see mum yesterday, she's still no better. Its scary and I dont know what to do or say to make her better. My dad was so emotional. He's finding it hard, he cant sleep properly as she wakes up in the night either talking about random things, or she gets up and wonders off. I asked if he wanted me to stay over so he could sleep but he refused. Said he can cope :(
And to top it all off Ive had a fall out with my younger (and only) sister today. She still lives at home, does nothing to help around the house and txt me this morning to say she's had to use a dirty towel as dads not done the washing. I dont understand her sometimes, so insensitive and selfish. I dont know how we can be from the same parents and yet be so different! Im supposed to be visitn the OH's family in Wales this weekend. Part of me so wants to go for a break, but I dont want to leave my family, even if it is just for 2 days. Im taking tomorrow off work as mum wants to spend some time with me. I do hope things get better soon..

[Benny&Co]

Scoobs, for you and your mum.

Depression is a horrible, debilitiating thing and just because you cannot necessarily see the symptoms, doesn't make them any less painful.

I think the stats are something like 1:3 people have a mental health condition but I always think that's probably only those who have been brave enough to go and seek help.

It makes me very cross when I hear tales of depressed people being told to "pull yourself together" and such things, you just cannot say that!!

The others have given you some fab words already, here's a couple of other sources of support for you all - please don't ever feel that you're alone.

http://www.samaritans.org/

http://www.mind.org.uk/

http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/home

http://www.northwest.nhs.uk/whatwedo/improvinghealth/mentalhealthinthenorthwest/

Also, does she/you have a community mental health team as well?

If your mum has been off her meds for a while, as you know, they will take a few days/weeks even to get going again. I feel for your Dad. How old is your sister?

It's good that she's getting out for some fresh air, I'm a big fan of that too. I would say just try and take each day one step at a time. Try not to get too overwhelmed thinking about the future too much.

As for your weekend away, of course you'll worry but it might do you good to get away, change of scene. You can keep in touch on the phone/text if necessary.

It sounds that you're extremely supportive of your mum.

Have any of you seen this TV advert about mental health? I've caught it a few times now and I have to say I think it's very good:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIArbJULkPA&feature=relmfu

[Scooby88]

Thank you Bev. I think it will take some time but she'll soon be back to normal. My sister is 22. She is old enough to look after herself but she relies on my parents way too much. I think her being so demanding is half the problem for my mum getting stressed. Mum has a full time job and still cooks & cleans for my sister. Dad is a great help though. I dont want to fall out with my sister, but when i try and encourage her to help out round the house, she says Im hassling her. Cant win! I think I will go to Wales, didnt take much encouragment did I. Haha

[Benny&Co]

Right well if your sister is 22 and fit and able, there is absolutely no reason why your mum and dad should be cooking/cleaning after her nor why she should be calling you saying there are no towels!!

Blimey what is it with some people hey??

Of course you don't want to fall out, is there someone else who could give her a stern word if you don't feel able to? Also a lesson in how to use the washing machine and cooker is in order too as well!

Glad you're going on your trip

[Scooby88]

Bev I am so glad you agree. I was thinking to myself, only for a split second, maybe my sister has a point. But she doesnt. I told her this morning she's to either wash her own towels or buy some new ones but not to stress mum and dad out any more. She replied with a txt saying that I was a rubbish sister and her friends are more of a sister to her than me. See I cant win. She also said something along the lines of i should just 'forget it and continue to enjoy my perfect life with my stupid chickens.' So that cheered me up no end!