I think "making ends meet" is very subjective. We consider making ends meet as paying our bills in full without worrying, having 3 decent meals a day and keeping warm in winter (all for the cheapest price we can possibly get) Lifes good! However, lately the subject of money and personal finances seems a very fashionable thing to talk about amongst friends and family. My brother for instance, complains to no end about how hard things are for him since his overtime was stopped. To my shock and horror what he was actually saying was that couldn't afford to go abroad on holiday (he doesn't consider British holidays "holidays" apparently) A friend of mine recently confided in me that she is "struggling" to make ends meet. I thought we were going to have a really down to earth chat about frugality and thriftyness but it turns out what she means by struggling is she can't afford to send her son on a foreign exchange trip (as well as his driving lessons) and she will have to wait another year for her new kitchen. She still shops in Marks and Spencers and did manage to scrape enough money together to send her daughter to see the Olympic games this summer, I was relieved to hear. I sometimes find it so hard to be a shoulder to cry on....
On the flip side, we have taken the decision to reduce our income (ie work less) to spend more time together whilst the kids are young. We got some very odd reactions from people when we told them : . It seems having less money coming in equates, to some, as being a failure. In fact, we are certainly in a much better position both financially and spiritually. We can't get off the treadmill altogether, but we can step off it for a while over the Summer, and slow the speed down to a gentle stroll .
(Rationed to 5 smilies - a thrifty forum indeed - how will I manage?) Winks eye
Hi and welcome. Is you name a wish for the future or an acheivement?
I think you are so right. Time spent with your family is worth more than any luxury you could buy. And if your children learn to budget, that will stand them in good stead. I've always gone down the skimping route buying neccessities first, then easing up where there was spare cash.
One snag about being off the tread mill. I didn't work for 12 years, then when youngest started school it was impossible to get back to anything that paid 'graduate' salary. I enjoyed supervising a playgroup but it just about covered expenses (not that if you count running 2 cars instead of 1)
We do make ends meet but only just, we don't have any other choice than to be frugal, if we don't penny pinch then our bills won't be paid and there will be know food on the table. The sad fact is that more and more families don't have a choice, we work, we don't smoke, drink or go out, our holidays are a week in a tent in Wales (which we love).
On the other hand members of our family (including my parents) who earn a great deal more than us are always complaining they are skint even though they have 'new' cars, eat out and holiday abroad
In September I will be returning to full-time education so will have to give up my part-time job, things will be tough but in the long term its the best thing to do for our family. Although I do think I will be penny pinching when we are on a better income as it's kind of a habit now
Hi Mo Thank you for your welcome. My username is a wish unfortunately. I would like to be mortgage free in 5 years so I can hopefully help my daughter through her education. Hoping to learn a few tricks here.
It certainly is hard giving up work but I do casual work in a shop which helps with the extras (birthdays, christmas, trips). But like someone else said, I decided to treat my home like a business (in the nicest possible way). Basically making sure there is more coming in than going out and everything is running smoothly and efficiently. Hopefully what I save my household in a month is the equivalent to a small part time wage. Thats the plan anyway . Me and my other half were having an interest conversation when going over the figures. Basically our income has dropped since September 2011. We have gone from, more often than not, being overdrawn and doing catchup, to having money left over, to a point we now actually have savings (and no worrying) . We have changed our relationship with money to a point that we can now see we actually have had enough all along.....
I'm finding mortgagefreeme's comments very interesting. I'm absolutely convinced that we as a family cannot make ends meet, but I am open to the fact that I might be wrong.Constantly overdrawn to the max and still overdrawn when I get paid.
We both work full-time and earn low wages. We're both doing the best we can. We dont have a mortgage as we live with m-i-l. We run 2 old cars and my car needs constant work due to its age and the mileage I do to get to and from my low paid job every day - at the moment we still owe 700 euros to the garage paying off bit by bit for work previously done. And the car wouldnt start again this morning...
The problem is that we have to pay for doctors and dentists (50-70 euros a time), etc and when mutlipied by 3 this adds up tremendously. Tomorrow I am supposed to be taking my daughter and myself to the dentist for a checkup but I do not have the 140 euros we need so I have got to cancel my appointment (and just take daughter) yet again. We also have to pay for all school books and equipment for our daughter.
I am going to run off a bank statement, calculate exactly what we need to make ends meet and I am convinced that this figure will be more than the figure we earn as a family. No such thing as family allowance here, or any help from social security, unless you are dying.. the outlook is very depressing at the moment.
Hi Gail. Two and a half years ago, my husband lost his job. I was in a panic and was sure we couldnt manage. He got another job which lasted two years, then back on the social - we didnt qualify! So we got porecisely £17, reduced to £0 after a short while. He now has two part time jobs (one 90 miles away) and is earning about the same per year that he used to get per month. This time I havent panicked. We looked carefully at what we can save, do ourselves, or cut back on and we are managing to make ends meet (just ). It isnt easy, but with sites like this one and moneysavingexpert, we can do it!
Chris xx
34.If someone can’t accept you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best
Hi Ruth, thank you for putting things into perspective for me. I have always been a worrier. My husband is the opposite and tells me to keep fighting, that I am a Brit and should be tough! He has always had to be frugal and at the age of 41 I am still learning. I've just got to find a way to get by!
Hi Gail, Sorry you are finding things so tough. We've all been there. But I think you make a very good point. In the UK (in theory) we should be able to have a basic standard of living and live above the poverty line because of our benefits system and our wonderful NHS. However, so many complicated factors can mean that the system doesn't catch everyone. In fact a recent report says 1 in 3 children live in poverty in the UK. Which I find astonishing and shocking . I also have issues with payday loans and families living on the bread line....but thats another story.
I really feel for you regarding dentistry and doctors. Our children get free dental work, so I can take them and not worry. But I have cancelled my own appointments because there just isn't enough money in the bank for a £30/ 5 minute check up. Things are better now and I can afford a 6 monthly check up but I can certainly imagine a lot of people won't bother because its so expensive.
Cars make me nervous. It's one of those things that can be an unpredictable cost To me a car is something that has to be practical (I don't care about what it looks like as long as its fairly reliable and cost efficient). But I dread taking it to a garage for a MOT or service as you never know what they will find. We made a huge error of judgement last year, to which we have learnt a huge lesson. Our car failed its MOT with some serious faults and we found ourselves with a £1000 bill which we hadn't planned or budgeted for . So this year we plan to put more money aside for those situations. Sometimes its one step forward two steps back .
mortgagefreeme wrote: In fact a recent report says 1 in 3 children live in poverty in the UK. Which I find astonishing and shocking . I have issues with payday loans and families living on the bread line....but thats another story.
Brief rant: poverty is defined by the government's own idea of what the 'breadline' is. Cant remember the exact figures and mine are a year or two out of date - the breadline was defined as having less than £90 a week to live on, yet benefits were about £60 per week!!!! And then they are surprised that children are living in poverty .
The statistics from a different source for the same year that the gov said we needed £90 a week, the necessary income was at least £120 a week. It makes me soooo angry. Especially when politicians try to live on a pension of benefits amount - they have their big house, they do it in the summer when heating costs are lower and they dont have the added strain of knowing that this is forever, because they can go back to their comfortable lifestyles at the end fo their 'experiment'.
But as you say, that's a different matter from the concern of this thread.
Chris xx
34.If someone can’t accept you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best
Well, since I last posted things have changed a little.
I have decided I have had enough. I simply can't go on with teaching full time, I am drained, utterly kernackered.
So we have had a chat and I am free to look for a part time job and/or a funded PhD.
We too get strange looks when we say we are looking to earn less in order to have a better quality of life together. For him that means not working weekends any more and me, well we'll see!
So soon I will have to put into practice all of the frugal tips here all of the time. Oddly I am looking forward to it. A small step off the treadmill and a little bit of downshifting sounds appealing.
Because of my notice period it won't happen before next January though - I may have imploded by then
1 dumbo rat still without a name; 2 top eared rats Octavia and Ursula 1 Rhode Rock, 1 Sussex Star, 1 Blue Ranger - The New Monochrome Set
It saddens me to see so much waste in families when other families are trying their best to keep their heads above water. The latter has been my lot for longer than I care to remember, make do and mend and all that.
I was talking to OH when we were driving home from our weekly shopping visit to town and the banks, it does seem so very unfair that there are these huge, huge salaries, and at the other end of the scale the opposite, small incomes, leading to small pensions, and small retirement savings.
Our village church is doing some charity scheme whereby low income families will receive a box of tinned food. I have to say, that although I am buying a tin per week to donate, I just wonder how much better off these needy families would be without their plasma TV, cigarettes, beer and parties, plus the purchase of lottery tickets in the hope for a better lifestyle. Last week outside T....co were two mums, and several kids, eating the sandwiches they had just purchased - an expensive breakfast to my way of thinking. We often see pushchairs in town with a tot eating a sausage roll, perhaps for its breakfast, or early lunch. Add these purchases up over a week, and a hole will be made in the budget.
Braking hardly even is hard and it's making harm to our family. When things changed some years ago we were earning half of our consumption and another part came from credit card.
I read about rule of living costs. Shortly it was that your living costs should be around 10% of you income. Now we are going that way. Last month were just even and it looks same for this month. Next month we're building large greenhouse and later installing some solar panels to cut electricity bill. Now living costs are around 70-80% (everything except car and food). We are slowly going to that 10%.
Green house and solar panels will be home made. I'll post pictures when project is going. We are doing upgrades which will pay itself in 3-4 years. Best part being without loose money is raising creativity. I have learn to do many new things and I'm mastering skill to find money holes.
My idea of making ends meet was covering the basics of providing a roof over your head, heating the home and putting food on the table. Any money "left over" from an income was either saved or put towards purchasing or replacing broken/old items that are necessary to make a home comfortable but was not extravagant. The occassional night out/once a week eg Saturday treat for the family (to the cinema or something similar) came into that criteria, and down to the pub for A social drink was acceptable. A holiday was still part of the budget within means, whether it was a week camping, day trips or in a holiday resort but a trip abroad to something like Disney World or a cruise was something special and once in a lifetime expense. However, a holiday would be the first thing to forego in the event of money shortage.
However, today's basics are more complicated. When you bought a tv, it lasted forever but today modern technology has got cheaper and short lived, and let's not forget digital. My first (proper) computer cost over £1000 and although expensive, I didn't expect technology to outpace that investment and the computer to become useless within a few short years even though the hardware is still in good condition. A 1 GB hard drive was something a business would need, but today's low budget laptops for the home have a staggering 500GB + at the fraction of the cost. Computers are not just for writing a document or calculating budgets anymore but become an essential part of everyday life, social networking and shopping. Even finding work is now not just about picking up the Thursday night newspaper, finding something suitable and going down to the telephone booth on the street to telephone for an interview but going online, downloading the job specs, ticking the boxes of compatability, filling in job applications and e-mailing it back with your mobile telephone number. A handwritten CV is unheard of now and where there are many applicants per job, it has to look professional to attract attention even for jobs that don't even need computer skills.
And shopping around for deals is the norm - gone are the days of just one telephone or utility company, now there are a whole range of them after your custom and the only way to get the best deals these days is to go online, ask social networks for their opinions, so having broadband has become one those basic needs. It doesn't provide a roof over my head or put food on the table so seems an odd thing to rely on. Please don't take offence when I ask those who say they are struggling why the computer, mobile phone and broadband/network hasn't been cancelled then? Because it has got too complicated to give it up.
Competition was set in motion to lower prices which increased availability to a lifestyle very much different to before. Costs came down but so did quality. Hence the throw away society began. Landfill can't cope so now we have to pay for disposal, and let's not forget all those new regulations and legislations that have come into force from the EU and government, putting even more pressure on the income which have been getting smaller as industry have tried to lower their costs long before the "credit crunch" and subsequent recession.
When I was growing up in the 1960s, we had a family car which was a big expense to purchase (but a necessity where I lived abroad where there was no public transport) and my father serviced and repaired it himself to save on running costs. Providing it met basic safety regulations, an old car could be kept on the road for a long time. When the kids grew up and got their first car it would be an old banger that they could do up themselves. Petrol was cheap. Todays models are beyond most home repairers and have to be taken to a garage where guidelines for roadworthiness have been raised so high to cover not only safety but CO2 emissions and fuel conservation, petrol prices and car insurance especially for young drivers, now make a car expensive to run but the public transport system cannot cope with a return to a non-car society.
The point I'm trying to make getting back to the original topic is that it is difficult to compare what people used to do with today's basic needs. A whole generation has grown up with a different set of values and lifestyle. Mend and make do today is not the same as it was before - a lot of stuff cannot be mended, and make do actually means go without in a world that is driven by a different technology.
I wrote this post not to criticise or be offensive. 30 years ago I had a lot less income but was able to live off it comfortably and still save. Today my income is moderate but I struggle and when I try to find ways to make ends meet, there is very little room to cut back. Fuel prices have made going to work my biggest outgoing but I cannot think of an alternate and jobs are few and far between, so I hang on to what I have. All my bills are fixed (mortgage, utility bills, council tax) leaving just heating, clothes and food the only options. I live a frugal lifestyle, recycle, grow my own fruit and vegetables and in winter I have minimum heating in one room. I try to make ends meet but at a cost - at a time when I should be thinking about reducing my working hours and enjoying life before I get too old or physically unable to, I find myself having to work twice as hard and getting very little in return.
Lancashire Lass, it is because of all of the things in your post that we have decided to downsize ourselves even further.
We have long been bothered by the 'needful things' of friends and relatives, it is conspicuous consumption (a lovely phrase I learned at Uni) gone mad!
We have so few of the trappings of modern life and once bought they remain with us until they are utterly worn out - so a laptop stays until it just stops working, a car until it is uneconomical to fix, etc.
I am one who must have the broadband stuff as I am slowly setting up a small business and that will need online sales and marketing. Sad really as I originally had dreams of attending local fairs and school fetes, just like I did as a kid and teenager!
I was mortified by a young colleague who is saving uo to buy a house. She has enough saved to buy a nice flat or small newbuild. But won't as she wants a real house, 3 beds, big garden etc etc. I can't understand why she feels that this is the only property that will be good enough - she is absolutely adament that she, young and single, absolutely has to have a full size family home so that when she meets Mr Right they can both sell their big houses and buy a forever house!
The assumptions behind her thoughts are astounding, but all the other younger staff agreed with her and are doing much the same! They simply will not buy small and work their way up! Not with homes, cars, holidays or any other visible purchase!
I despair, but am really quite sorry for them. They don't seem to get any joy out of it, whereas I remember the joy of buying a tiny 1 bed flat, my first banger and moving on to the current daft car.
Small things don't seem to give small joys any more and I think that is very, very sad.
1 dumbo rat still without a name; 2 top eared rats Octavia and Ursula 1 Rhode Rock, 1 Sussex Star, 1 Blue Ranger - The New Monochrome Set
). It isnt easy, but with sites like this one and moneysavingexpert, we can do it!
. I also have issues with payday loans and families living on the bread line....but thats another story.
To me a car is something that has to be practical (I don't care about what it looks like as long as its fairly reliable and cost efficient). But I dread taking it to a garage for a MOT or service as you never know what they will find. We made a huge error of judgement last year, to which we have learnt a huge lesson. Our car failed its MOT with some serious faults and we found ourselves with a £1000 bill which we hadn't planned or budgeted for 
. So this year we plan to put more money aside for those situations. Sometimes its one step forward two steps back 
