Stammering and Stuttering

Pages on a personal experience of a life with a Stammer

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Are there positives to having a Stammer

A part of your character, not always a bad one

1. About Stammering >

2. The positives of Stuttering >

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This may sound odd, are their positives? Of course there are. Like a blind person may adapt to having amazing hearing powers (many are Piano Tuners), stammerers 'adapt' to other things, especially with writing and artistic slants.

Years ago I used to write quite a few songs for the guitar (we don't stutter when we sing!) and I found this a great source for expressing myself and a good reason to learn guitar, join a Band and have an amazing time in my late teens.

I brought my first PC in 1999 and upon downshifting, thought I'd try my hand at a website and I've found this one of the most satisfying experiences of my life.
I can write words I can't necessarily say and over 400 pages later, I'm still writing - not well maybe, but I'm writing!

During my teens, I was very aware of it. I was scared I'd never get a girlfriend, scared I couldn't get a good job and scared even of being asked a question.
But I got my girlfriends, got married, had three wonderful kids. I got a good job in Advertising and went on to some quite good other jobs as well.
Why? I think it's because it made me try harder and want things harder. I learnt to never let it get in my way. Somehow I got through job interviews and I can only recall not getting a couple of jobs I applied for.

Sure there were some jobs which would be great, but impossible maybe. Even now when I look round at part-time jobs for the winter, I know I can't apply for a Call Centre or Receptionist job.
But I can paint and odd job, sobeit.
If there were a job going for a tour guide though, I'd apply. Again, it's a bit of the 'when I'm someone else, I'm OK'.

But it doesn't matter. There are jobs I'd apply for, but some others wouldn't and who wants to be faceless person on the end of a phone anyway.

If you have a child with a stammer, try and get it sorted, no messing. But if the treatment doesn't work - don't worry, that child has a skill, a talent which will be good for him and for others.

Something else that's a benefit is that you get to like being yourself and enjoy your own space. Nature, beauty, walking, Sport etc., don't need speech.
I'm as happy on my own as I am with people around me. Funny thing is that a lot of people say "Don't you ever stop talking Richard"!

Some time ago, owing to a need for rest and reflection, I used to go on 'Retreats' at a Monastery in Burnham Beeches., I found the 'order' of Monastic living fascinating, especially the 'speak when spoken to' and 'only say something if it's worth saying' interesting' approach to life.
Too many people (me included often) rabbit on at ten to the dozen about nothing. They will talk for 6 minutes about something which could be said in 2.

There is often a perception amongst people that anyone who is quiet isn't over approachable, a little within themself or just boring!
Also, if you are a fairly talkative person, when you're not saying anything, you're depressed!

There are down days, I've certainly had them, especially when I've prepared well for a job interview for something I know I could do very well. You go to the interview and completely clam up and don't get the job. But something else comes along and you see that things are often supposed to be.
If you can cure a stammer, I recommend doing so, but if you can't, don't see it as a failure, accept it and plan your life around it and see the positive sides of your direction.

To wallow in a stammer will do you no good atall. Enjoy life to the full and have a good time. Don't allow it to become a negative, it's not.

              


A Stammer doesn't have to hold you back in life
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